Coming Out of the Cannabis Closet » My Story

Why You Will Love This Post

“I have used cannabis every day for the past ten years…“

I never thought I would type that sentence for the whole world to read.

For my young adult life, my cannabis use has been kept private, shamefully, due to the political and social stigmas surrounding cannabis use and the negative perception of cannabis users.

However, I do use cannabis daily for a multitude of reasons to support my overall health and wellness, and I have since I was 20 years old.

For so long I held onto the shame of using cannabis, I constantly wrestled with the idea that I was a ‘drug addict’, defined by other peoples standards.

Today, I proudly proclaim that I use cannabis to enhance my overall well-being without judgment, and I want to help you do the same.

Watch this post as a video…

The Backstory

To understand my present, it is important to understand my past.

I was out of control when I was a teenager, more so than typical teenage girls. I could not control my anger and my emotions.

My relationship with my parents was volatile; I was rebellious, and I was destructive. It was no fault of my parents; they did everything right.

My fights with my parents grew more explosive, and we all struggled with our mental and emotional health during this time.

We went to counseling, but the problems continued to grow.

I remember my parents talking to me about our family’s deep-rooted history of mental illness, specifically anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder.

But I was too young, impatient, and ignorant to understand that these illnesses affected just about everyone in my family, including myself.

A Family Tragedy

Then, one day, something happened that changed my entire family forever.

When I was 16 years old, my cousin, who was also 16 years old at the time, committed suicide.

I have never publicly discussed this before. It was an extremely painful and shameful experience that devastated the entire family.

At the time, I think I was too numb, too young, too dumb, and too naive to understand the true gravity of what happened.

I will never forget her or those dark days that followed. I will never forget my mom trying to explain it to me.

I will never forget what my mom told me that just weeks before the tragedy, my cousin had started a new depression medication.

It was believed that the medication had such a negative impact that it ultimately contributed to what had happened.

From my experience, I vowed that I would never, ever look at prescription medication or mental health the same way again.

It is not my intention to give any recommendations on taking or not taking medication for depression; this is simply me sharing my experience.

An Introduction to Cannabis

At just 17 years old, I headed off to college on my own.

I was still the same miserable, angry teenager my parents fought with the previous year, and I will never forget the day they dropped me off. I was horrible to them.

I was mean and angry, and I knew that I truly broke their hearts that day.

I spent one semester at Fredonia State, failing personally and academically.

By the end of the semester, I was headed back home to move in with my parents, and my GPA average was 1.8.

It was one of the lowest points in my life. I was depressed, anxious, and felt like a true failure.

Around the same time, I started dating a boyfriend who introduced me to the world of cannabis use.

He had a wonderful family that accepted and embraced cannabis use as a lifestyle tool, and I saw firsthand how cannabis could be used for positive experiences.

They say hindsight is 20/20, and I can easily see now how this story could have gone completely the other way, but stay with me…

With my more frequent cannabis use, I found myself being able to control my emotions for the first time.

I found myself with the ability to control my anger, my mood swings, and my violent outbursts.

For the first time, I was able to experience contentment.

I enrolled in the local community college and started working as a waitress at a local restaurant, where I met my now-husband.

And then something remarkable happened.

Cannabis Changed My Life

I discovered that by using cannabis, I was not only able to be more emotionally stable but was then able to be more motivated, productive, and inspired.

During my first semester in community college, I got a 4.0 GPA and made it to the Dean’s list.

For the first time in a long time, I had accomplished something positive on my own.

For the first time, I was happy and determined and saw unlimited options for my future.

All because I started to use cannabis for wellness.

What I Have Accomplished Because of Cannabis

I enrolled in the nutrition program at MCC, where I made the Dean’s List and Honor Society and received a few scholarships.

After a year, I applied to Rochester Institute of Technology, one of the best schools in the area, and I was accepted.

I excelled at RIT. My GPA was never below 3.75. I volunteered, participated in social activities, and enjoyed the college experience.

I felt motivated and inspired to become a dietitian, more than just a waitress, and a better version of myself.

And at the same time, I waitressed at night and on the weekends, I saved my money, moved in with my new boyfriend, paid all of my own bills, paid my own school tuition, and did it all on my own.

I was never more empowered.

I did (what I was told I couldn’t do) and applied to a distance dietetic internship and graduate school to continue pursuing my dream of becoming a dietitian without having to move and uproot my life.

We moved into our forever home, and at the end of my internship, I graduated with my Master of Science Degree and was happily six months pregnant.

I have no doubt in my mind at all that I would have never been able to turn my life around and accomplish all that I had by age 23 if I had not begun to use cannabis.

Cannabis Use After Motherhood

As I have talked about before, I did not use cannabis when I was pregnant with my first son, but I did notice a significant difference in my life without it.

As many new mothers experienced, I went through another period of depression.

Traditional new-mom experiences combined with my dissatisfaction with the standstill in my career left me feeling extremely unhappy.

While I had graduated with my degree, I had not taken the exam to become a dietitian and was back again waitressing at the restaurant.

Thankfully, when Ransom was five months old, my sister finally talked me into taking my exam.

I did not study. I went in, I took it, and I passed.

It was the start of a new life for me. I was officially a dietitian, but I was feeling stuck because I did not want to leave my baby boy to go to work in a hospital.

I started using cannabis again and immediately felt the motivation, inspiration, and desire to do something more with my life.

I decided to start a blog, even though I did not know what a blog was.

Four years ago, I sat on the couch with my laptop and my infant, changing my life forever. For two years, I worked part-time on my business while working part-time in a clinical role at a hospital.

During my time at the hospital, I dodged drug tests, I was not too fond of the work that I was doing, and I never had the opportunity to be my true self.

I lived in secret, always fearing that someone would ‘find out’ about my secrets.

I am Successful Because I Use Cannabis

I am proud to say that in 2017, I quit that hospital job I hated, and the rest is history.

I have been successfully self-employed for the last seven years and have accomplished more than I have ever dreamed of in that of time.

I never dreamt that my cannabis blog for moms would turn into a full-fledged business that would support not only me but my entire family.

I have become financially stable and can start paying off my student loans during this time.

I built my dream she shed and now work from home in the most beautiful workspace imaginable.

Happiness was the Result

Every day, I feel immense gratitude for the life I live today. I recognize that I am incredibly privileged to be in this situation.

I am thankful that I live in a period where it is OK to be myself, speak my truth, and know that the world will continue to spin on.

I know that cannabis use is not for everyone.

The main message I am trying to drive home is that you must do what works for you.

You must not be ashamed, especially if you have found something that works for you and makes your life happier and healthier.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for not judging me.

And thank you for supporting me; I am forever grateful ♥️

Want to learn more about me? Check out the full story on my Well With Cannabis Podcast.

Want to learn more about cannabis?

Everything you wish someone taught you…

The Cannabis Compass Online Course will show you how to use, apply, and dose cannabis safely and effectively so that you can begin to manage your anxiety, pain, and inflammation the natural way from the comfort of your own home. Learn more below.

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