From Addiction to Meditation with the Help of Cannabis

Rose: Well, without giving too many specifics, I’m a Gen-Xer… I am a professional; I have a master’s degree. I started using cannabis when I was 13. It’s really helped me in many aspects of my life. I wanted to share my story.

Emily: That is amazing. Thank you so much. And actually, it’s so interesting. You are the fifth person out of six, I think, that I’ve interviewed that has a master’s degree.

I keep finding all of these healthcare professionals being pulled toward cannabis. I know you’re remaining anonymous. Do you want to talk at all about your experience, coming out, or navigating that in your personal life?

Rose: Sure, yeah. When I was growing up, it was super taboo. Oh, not taboo. I don’t know, is that the word I would use? Probably. I mean, the first time I did it, I smoked in my friend’s bathroom with her, you know, bathroom downstairs.

In recent years, I have started to almost come out more and more to my family and friends about using because it’s helped me so much. But there are still some people who are…unsupportive.

My sister’s a medical professional in the medical field, and she doesn’t believe in it; we always skirted around the issue. We kind of agree to disagree, but yeah.

Emily: I totally see that for a lot of families, sometimes it’s easier just to pretend that it doesn’t exist. You know, as much as we want people to accept it, there are certain family members where it’s not worth pushing the boundary.

Rose: Well, right, exactly. Yes, I completely agree. Yeah.

Emily: Tell me a little about how you started using cannabis. I should say medicinally because we know you had lots of fun as a teenager.

Rose: Right, exactly. Medicinally, I started using cannabis when I started tracking how I was using it and how it made me feel after I got over it.

I’ve spent the past four or five years getting over an addiction. Not to cannabis, obviously another addiction. But you know, it’s helped me manage and curb it. At first, it was to curb the cravings.

But now that I’ve gone through this whole transformation of getting better, it has helped me to maintain a balance of myself and find my center, and quiet myself so that I can find that center. It’s really been an amazing journey.

Emily: I’m so happy for you; first of all, you found cannabis. Do you want to talk a little bit more about your addiction? Because I just envision people listening to this podcast and learning from your story.

A lot of people really struggle with sobriety, and where cannabis can play a role in that. Did you have any experience with that?

Rose: My addiction was really, super bad. I ended up leaving my job. I had no money; I had no power. It was devastating, just devastating. At first, when I was getting clean, I didn’t… I got clean myself. I didn’t go to rehab, and that’s not for everybody.

But for me, that was what was good for me. And I didn’t know, at first, if would I be able to use cannabis still. Would I have to completely, completely stop everything? But then I was like, no. The more I took control of myself instead of the addiction having control of me.

The more I was like, no, I can do this. And I had been diagnosed with bipolar in my twenties. At this time also, I lost my health insurance. I detoxed from all that medicine, all from the drugs, and all from my psych medicine.

Cannabis has really just helped me to just maintain that good sense of balance. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know if that answers your question. I might be…

Emily: And absolutely answers the question. And it’s honestly so interesting in all of these interviews that I do, everybody comes back to the same, “cannabis brings me back to myself; it brings back balance.”

You’re just echoing the same message, which I’m so happy to hear. Because it really just makes people’s quality of life so much better, and you’re just echoing that.

Rose: Yes.

Emily: I’m so happy for you.

Rose: Thank you. Truly, I was just thinking that this morning when I was thinking, “I got to go over things in my head that I would say to you.” It makes, even going to the grocery store.

Emily: So funny; I was just talking to another woman, and she said, “How would anybody not want cannabis?” And we both said it’s like living in a black-and-white world and finally seeing in color.

That it’s just… That you didn’t even know that life could be so good on the other side of it.

Rose: Exactly. Yes, yes, yes. I agree.

Emily: Have you ever struggled with feeling like you’re officially coming out of the cannabis closet? Or do you feel like you’re still kind of keeping it under wraps?

Rose: I have come out way more than I was. But still, I think I’m still cautious. With the day and age that we live in. Everybody has an opinion about everything.

And after the pandemic, I feel like I’m not being a hypocrite. I’m not keeping it to myself and then doing something like this. But I feel like I pick and choose, and I do read the room.

Emily: I think that’s a really good piece of advice for everybody because in this day and age. I mean, where are you located? Because different states are different too.

Rose: I’m actually… We’re close to each other. I was looking at your newsletter this morning, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s in New York. Let me Google where this is.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Buffalo, and she’s in Rochester.”

Emily: Oh my, that is amazing. That I so exciting. I’m hoping in the future to do in-person events, it would be amazing if we got the opportunity to meet.

Rose: Oh, yes. That would be so much fun.

Emily: Now, there are so many dispensaries opening up in Buffalo. Not even… I don’t know if full rec is, just CBD dispensaries. Have you visited any yet?

Rose: Yes, I have. There’s one around the corner from me; honestly, you can edit this out again if you must. I don’t think they’re… I mean, they must not have a license because they’re…

Emily: It’s a very gray, grimy area.

Rose: They don’t charge tax or anything like that. I get a lot of good stuff, and I love that the edibles are so readily available.

Emily: Just to be able to just go to the grocery store, pick what you need, get your medicine, and go home is amazing. Do you have any advice for someone?

Say someone’s listening here, and they’ve never tried cannabis before, but perhaps maybe they have had an addiction. And they’re interested in starting cannabis but don’t know where to start. Do you have any advice for them?

Rose: I would say number one, definitely do some reading about it. Because, you know…

Emily: It’s just so much.

Rose: There is so much. And yeah, you don’t want to… and definitely, I would say get that. And get something that you can cut up, gummies or something like that, even when they come in cubes out, a fourth of those cubes.

Emily: That is such good advice.

Rose: And just take a bite of one of those quarter pieces, and that start slow. I would say that. Build up your tolerance. And I would say in my case, at least, I take some days off.

Emily: So smart.

Rose: Right. And then, it helps me to balance out how I get my work done.

Emily: Absolutely. So you said you love microdosing, and you also do meditation. Have you found that cannabis helps with your overall wellness?

Rose: Yes, I found that…again, it’s such a great tool.

Emily: I always tell people it’s a tool in your wellness tool belt. It’s not the only thing, but it helps a lot.

Rose: It helped me to learn how to meditate. I would listen on YouTube. I would do some guided transcendental meditation, and it would help me to be quiet enough, to learn how to do it, and to see the benefits of it. Now I can do it without smoking or without taking it.

Emily: That’s amazing. That’s awesome. And are you doing that frequently now?

Rose: I do, yeah.

Emily: That’s got to be so good.

Rose: We just switched the TVs in our house. So in my room, I have a smart TV now, so I’ll mirror meditation music all night long. And then I get that light going, too, so it’s great.

Emily: Oh, that is amazing. I keep seeing this theme over and over again; when cannabis is introduced, we feel so much better that we improve other areas of our health and wellness as well.

Whether it’s eating better or exercising, or doing meditation, everybody’s stories, in a way, are so similar, and it’s so perfect for people to hear because I just want to showcase the amazing benefits and how good we can feel.

Rose: Well, right. Yeah, exactly. And it’s so great. I’m so excited that you’re doing that.

Emily: Oh, thank you so much. I mean, just hearing other people’s stories and ultimately feeling like we’re not alone. I feel that the hardest part when it comes to cannabis is not having a support system or just not having family members.

Or some people have nobody to talk to about it. Depending on how nice their family is and supportive. But to have somebody in your life who uses cannabis regularly and understands it and can see the benefits, I feel like, is such a nice feeling.

I’m so glad. The plant brought us together; here we are, probably an hour away from me, further in the world anyway, which is so crazy. But it just goes to show that the plant is so magical.

Rose: It is, definitely.

Emily: It is. It’s the best. No, I want to be respectful of your time. So I’m going to ask you the same four questions I ask all my guests. Are you ready to start?

Rose: Yep, I’m ready.

Emily: Okay, perfect. First and foremost, what are you most proud of in your life to date?

Rose: I’m most proud of…definitely how my daughter turned out. I’m most proud of the job that I have done. Not just getting clean but finding out who I am as a woman.

I think it’s super important when you’re in your 40s; we lose who we are. I feel like when you’re married and you’re a mom. I had to find out who I was again and go back to who I was as a teenager and as a child. That’s what I’m most proud of, is that I have control of my life, and I’ve done this myself.

Emily: Oh, I’m so proud of you. That gives me goosebumps. I’m really so happy for you. That is amazing. If you could look back and tell yourself 10, 20, or 30 years ago, just one piece of cannabis advice, what would you give yourself?

Rose: I would say to… Geez, that’s a hard one. The piece of advice that I give myself about cannabis is investing.

Emily: Oh, that is a great one. So smart. You are the first person to say that. No. What do you think your life would look like if you didn’t have cannabis?

Rose: Oh God. Oh geez. Like when I think back, even to like, when I did… Well, okay, no, let me think. I wasn’t using it when my daughter was growing up. And I was using psych meds instead.

I was zombied out. I didn’t know. Looking back on it now, I think like, “Oh, I didn’t know who I was.” You know what I mean? I had had no right pre-love moments or anything, but like, I mean, I was happy at the time, you know. But I was messy, and I was chaotic. I thrived on chaos, and now I don’t anymore. And I think that cannabis has had a part hand in that.

Emily: Oh, I’m so happy for you. To have an alternative that makes you feel better without all the side effects. I feel like that comes down to really the cherry on top for many people. Cannabis is relatively side effect free.

Rose: Right, right, right. I hate the attitude that people have. I just can’t understand it that like, “Oh, alcohol is okay, but cannabis, you’re a drug addict.” Like, no. Oh my God.

Emily: I know. I don’t know anybody in this world who eats basil or oregano, and we’re like, “You’re a drug addict.” Cannabis, to me, falls in the same category. It’s a vegetable; it’s a plant, like. And when I think of drugs, I think of pharmaceuticals.

Made in the lab pushed by big pharma. I truly think that the stigma against cannabis is directly related to big pharma. Big pharma doesn’t want us having this conversation here today. They don’t want you telling people how much better you feel without their medication.

Rose: Right, right. Like I’ve had, for the past three or four years, I’ve had very severe… Not very severe with respect to people who do have severe kidney problems, but it might have been bad. They’ve been very bad. And I keep getting these stones, these infections. I’ve had surgeries.

Finally, I have a nephrologist who figured out what the problem was. And it’s because of a drug that I was taking, a psych drug. That I was on for a long time. And I’ve been off of it for a long time, for probably about five years now, and now I’m having all these problems with my kidneys.

Emily: Oh my gosh, that’s so crazy. There’ll be no repercussions to these drug companies at the end of the day, which is so sad. It just makes me wonder why people are so worried about cannabis when the side effects are what?

Sleepy, maybe anxious, worst-case scenario, anxiety, panic attack, but I mean. Long-term kidney damage. I’m so sorry to hear that.

Rose: Thank you. But at least they found out the problem, so that’s good.

Emily: True, they can take care of you. And you know, if anything, maybe someone on the other end is listening to this and maybe not feeling well and can go to their doctors. Maybe suggest, you know, if there’s a connection there. Thank you for sharing that with us. You never know who it’s going to help down the line.

Rose: Definitely.

Emily: Now, last question. If you could be remembered for just one thing in this world, cannabis-related or not, what would it be?

Rose: I would rather be remembered for bringing light into whoever’s life I was in.

Emily: I feel that. I feel you’re bringing that to this podcast. Anybody who’s going to listen to this is going to feel your light. It’s really so sweet of you to take your time and share your story. I really hope other people, especially those who have struggled with addiction, can listen to your story.

Because I think it’s really important to show that you can absolutely use cannabis as part of a clean and healthy lifestyle at the end of the day, you’re just the perfect epitome of that. So thank you so much for coming and showing us that.

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