A Military Veteran and Mom’s Journey to Pain Relief with Cannabis

Emily: Oh, I’m so excited, and I’m excited to learn about your journey. You said it’s about a three-year journey with cannabis, and you had been a chronic pain sufferer, and I know for so many of our listeners, chronic pain is one of the major things that bring people to cannabis. I’d love to talk about your story.

Beth: I was good at it. I’m so good at it. I didn’t quit because I stopped liking it. We’ll just say that a hundred percent. I started with edibles, and I probably journaled about it. I need to go back and look. Yeah. But I remember, oh, I know what it was. We hadn’t quite left Alabama, and someone gave me a can of butter cookies. It was fantastic. Cookies. And at first, it almost felt like that same kind of euphoric relief you get when you first start taking opioid pain medications, and it works.

Beth: It’s the first time it works in that relief you feel. I felt that, and I was like, oh, I can move my body. I can touch places on my body that I can’t usually. I felt connections inside my own self-making, shaking hands for the first time in a long time. And I had some great internal discussions with myself about what pain meant to me, where my fear of pain came from, what started it, why I tried to avoid it so much, and covering it up as opposed to figuring out what this is. Those conversations and that mindset would not have happened with the traditional treatments I was getting. I found what worked for me, and I have improved my quality of life in a way that I did not ever expect was possible. Yes. It doesn’t make me superhuman, but it enables me to move without pain, which is a gift for those with it.

Beth: It really made me interested and finding ways to use this excellent plant to help my body feel better. Less painful. I liked the way it made me reframe my mind and worldview, and I made connections within myself that, as I said, I hadn’t made previously. It helped me get to this place where I had the strength and wherewithal to start a business and do life coaching and tarot. And that was, that is not, that was not my comfort zone. Me from 10 years ago would have laughed at you. 

Emily: It’s incredible. That’s an amazing story and journey, and I am so happy you gave those cookies a try and gave cannabis a try because everybody deserves a pain-free life. If one plant can give that to you, all these other beautiful things are on top of it. I’ve been doing many of these podcast interviews, and everybody comes back to the same thing: they came to cannabis for one reason, and they stay for this whole other plethora of reasons. These little magical things that happen that we don’t even realize happen, whether it’s a better relationship with ourselves, a better relationship with spirituality, a better relationship with our family, our friends, or our children. It’s all these beautiful things that come out of choosing to use cannabis that is so beautiful.

Beth: Yes. One thing for me specifically that I know would not have happened without this is the type of communication needed to gain my spouse’s support. That was interesting. And it’s, it continues to be something that, I think I’m not alone in this, but it feels like I am because I almost never talked to anybody about how I manage my pain. Yeah. But initially, I was like, I will not smoke it. I will not do this. I will not do that. I gave myself all these rules for the sake of having rules because I needed to feel like I had some control over this.

Beth: I’m a type A girl. I also realized that I have a healthcare background and know there are inherent risks to inhaling anything that is not clean air. Exactly. I had to determine what I wanted to do; how was I willing to justify it? And it was, I, the biggest thing that came out of this is I deserve a healthy body. I deserve a body without pain. I didn’t believe that initially. Cannabis has helped me reach that point, and I’ve experimented with ways of using it now by cooking the tinctures under your tongue and teas. I used that; that’s how I found you. I grew my little plants. It took me way too long to get a tomato from a plant. I had low expectations for my first crop, but there was a yield. 

Beth: I practiced by myself. Yeah. I practiced in the mirror, in the shower. I journaled, wrote down everything I wanted to say, and read it over, and was like, no, that’s not how I want to say it. I like this part. I had this plan, this was my elevator speech, and I was only going to get one opportunity to do that. Yeah. And so, I prepared. I ammen mentally prepared that he may disagree, but I will do it anyway.

Beth: I need you to go get our son. And he knows that asking me is hard. If you’re frustrated, we can talk about that. But I still need you to get our son. Can you get him, and then we’ll talk about it later? I practiced what I wanted to say. I found statements that were where I felt statements. That was where my boundary was, where I felt good with where my boundary was going to be. I’ll still listen to your concerns. I have the right to change my mind because I knew edibles were just what it was at the beginning. Then I started doing salves and things like that, so I had to figure out, I wanted to try everything. I could figure out what worked best for me, and getting him that first conversation was important. It did not end the way I wanted it to, but we had the conversation, and it led to many more conversations. And we like to talk in the kitchen and munch on charcuterie.

Beth: Drink a glass of wine. The kids are watching SpongeBob, and we are engaging for an hour. And those are the conversations that came up. And it required me to be very honest about how I used it. I do suffer from addiction. I had an alcohol problem when I was much younger. I can still use and drink responsibly. But the temptation for some of that is there. I will love smoking. I love smoking, but I know if I go crazy, I won’t stop. It took me a long time to quit. I am conscious every time I use it, just like I was conscious every time I took prescribed medication. Yeah. It is taking practice.

Beth: But that would probably be my best recommendation; we do that. We have conversations in the shower. It’s an excellent recommendation. Yes. How are we going to say this? What’s he going to say? How will I respond? Oh, I’m getting emotional. I’m not even talking to him. Why am I feeling emotional? Oh, I’m not ready to have that conversation yet, yes. And it was so deep. And multifaceted. I was overwhelmed and thought, I don’t need to do this. My baby plants can die. It’s too complicated to figure out; let me just suffer, but wait. I deserve a body without pain, and I deserve a healthy body. I can’t just say anything. That is the loop that keeps me going. But this is going to be a lifelong thing. This is behavior, and we’re people; we are flawed. We’re beautifully flawed, which is part of how we learn, and this stuff has helped me know more about myself than any other talk therapy.

Emily: Oh my gosh. Let’s talk about that, therapy. I keep returning to the same theme with men and women that cannabis introduces you to yourself. Oh, yes. It allows you, and I’m not an overly spiritual person. I’m not an utterly spiritual person. There’s something about it. Cannabis awakens you to yourself, your intuition, and your inner guidance that I never had before I had cannabis. And the more people I talk to who have the same experience, I’m like, tell me all about it. So please tell me how it impacts you in that way.

Beth: Using marijuana helps everything go down. And then, in that beautiful voice singing, it’s hard out, but it can only get so loud. I finally heard, I finally heard it. then I was likThenhen was the first time I listened to this voice? I had to remember. It took many times of thinking and journaling, and I used it as a way of self-exploration. It opened my memory in ways that I didn’t know were possible. I recalled I pressed memories from trauma when I was a kid. Everything I had hidden from myself came through when I was ready to be in my body. Not trying to escape it. Because it hurts so bad, It became part of my spirituality in a way to help me connect, to help me become still.

Beth: I am better at becoming still. It’s taken my practice; it’s practice. I could struggle and meditate for two minutes with my eyes closed and still, and now I can sustain that for 45 minutes or an hour. Buying cannabis helped me get there. It helped me feel calm in my body. Understand what I was feeling. It wasn’t all anger. It’s more stuff. There’s stuff under that, and it revolutionized how I look at my life. Revolution way, revolutionize. The way I look at my spirituality is I look at it like a garden. I’m a very; I’m a huge plant fan now. It benefits.

Beth: Oh my gosh. It’s a whole other story. It’s a whole different story. So, my chronic pain was out of sight when I got to Washington was an understatement, and stress and things like that. But I was not thriving where I was, and I moved, and my spirituality grew, and I tended it and found some things I liked to grow there. And I found some other stuff that was like, no, that doesn’t belong here. That’s not what I want to put my energy and time into growing, thriving you and.

Beth: Again, cannabis helped me look at my life like that. It chilled out all my overwhelming emotions, my overwhelming stress, my body pain, the racing thoughts, the stuff that comes with life and chronic pain. Yeah. And I could finally step through this fog that I had no idea I was even in. It was magical in a way that I grew my stuff. I found you this way. 

Emily: Absolutely. I’m glad you said that you tried a little bit of everything to find out what worked best for you because I think that’s the best advice to give in cannabis because you thought you wanted to go one way, and now you go all the way. The beautiful thing about cannabis is you can use different things for different reasons. And so, you have more tools in your tool belt.

Beth: I’m still adding that to my toolbar right now. What is all in cannabis? The science behind it. Which science behind it works best for me? The terpene that loves my body. My body loves that. It works great. And it is finding strains that work or don’t work. That’s one thing that surprised me. Some don’t even do anything to me. 

Emily: Or make you feel crabby. There have been times when my husband’s, what strain are you using? He’ll be like, don’t ever use that again. But it’s good to tell people that. Cannabis is not a one-and-done. It’s not like you take a pill, and it is what it is. There is so much nuance and so much that you can manipulate and change to suit your own needs.

Beth: Yes, exactly. That’s one thing I learned from my first growth experience to this next one. I’m going to start here in March. Can I do something I can do for my plants so that they have the better qualities that I want? I’ve already researched my strain, so it’s better. I can’t tell anything off the top of my head, but it is. I have a game plan now, and that’s basically what you must do. This isn’t an; it’s not expensive to experiment with this. I’ve bought shoes more expensive than I had to put into this to get started that I’ve never worn. This is an investment that was relatively small for the benefit that I got from it.

Emily: Yes. Last year I put a seed in the ground. I wanted to show people that you could put a seed in the ground and grow amazing plants. And when we did the math on what that seed costs versus what we could sell that for on the market. Your return on investment is unbelievable. You’re making your own medicine. It’s real; you’re your own medicine man. I don’t know if you felt this; I know you said your plans were small, but just watching it is such a magical experience in and of itself.

Beth: It is. And it is a study again of how you care for yourself. Self-care is like being a plant. You do have to water yourself. You do have to feed yourself, but that’s keeping you alive, and that’s not self-care. Like how can you make yourself thrive? That is self-care, and this helps me do that because I didn’t, I could not get through that barrier on my own steam.

Emily: That’s what I wanted to ask you about is self-care because, for a lot of women, self-care is this elusive thing that will never reach, that involves like a massage and a pedicure, which is not that those things are not self-care. But many people I tell like cannabis is a tool in my self-care tool belt. It helps all the other parts of self-care kind of fall into place. Have you had the same experience? 

Beth: Yes. It enables me to be present in my body here at the moment; how good or bad? What is it here? And then I can again touch places I couldn’t touch before. Care for me in ways that a massage lady is not going to do, or someone doing a pedicure is not willing to do either. I must be willing to care for myself because no one nurtures me like I can. I didn’t believe that at first. I challenged myself. I did a little blog challenge, and it was 30 days. As self-care for the skeptic, I wanted to know if it would work for me and if it would be worth the time.

Beth: I documented my month. I did 30 days of my real life, the time I had each day, and the availability of resources. I saw what I could do when I really tried. Yeah. After the first week, I felt. Like a new person in the second week, the third, and the fourth. It’s been a year since I have been down 45 pounds. My skin is better. My hair was falling out; my nails were brittle. There, there’s so much to this. That I just started caring for myself differently. It really helped me blossom into myself. I’m still becoming. Have you ever read Michelle Obama’s book Becoming Michelle Obama? I’m still becoming Beth. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. But it has helped me realize the value of myself and the matter of time I give to myself. That’s, ah, that’s so important, and yeah, very critical. Yeah, it’s me the most. I’m able to be more present for my kids now. I’m a better mom. I’m a better wife. 

Emily: That’s where I wanted to go with you – motherhood. How has it impacted motherhood? Because so many people have such a lousy misconception that cannabis and parenting cannot be combined responsibly. But so many people are just put out there that they are such better-quality parents thanks to cannabis. Have you had the same experience?

Beth: Heck, yes. I have been on pain medication, and helping my son do something or have fun with him was unheard of. I am, and I’m not disabled when I’m using this. There’s that subtleness too. You’re not zero to 1000, and I’ve found the dose I can perform on the floor. My son has special needs. He’s very high functioning autistic. A brilliant little boy. He was completely nonverbal, and now he’s in third grade and learning multiplication. I could not have done the support that he needed, the help that I needed, if I hadn’t found a way to manage my pain like cannabis better did.

Beth: It made me more curious and less. Less exasperated with his yeah, his sense of imagination. That’s what we need more of. Don’t stuff it down. And if it takes longer to do the math, at least we had fun when we did it. It gives me that kind of creative spark. How can I approach this so my neurodivergent child will understand? I’m not the only parent, I’m sure that’s like this with a neurodivergent child, but I see so much of myself. I didn’t get my diagnosis. However, I know what my parents did for me, how it did not work. I will try something different with my son, enabling me to be creative about reaching my kid. Differently, it gives, makes it fun to be a parent again. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Much more challenging because they’re struggling. Yes. It’s helped me be more present with how I feel as I’m him through things and making sure that I’m only there for his emotions.

Beth: emotions that are coming through regarding this is just stuff I need to deal with in my journal. It helps me separate. Hold it close and put it aside just until I’m ready for it later. Man, the relationships with my husband, the communication we’ve been able to have, I’ve felt very insecure at first sharing with him my spiritual journey with this because he’s atheist. And so how, okay. I know how you feel personally. Don’t think I’m, don’t think I’m weird. I still, your opinion about me matters. Having those kinds of conversations opens us up to be more. Responsive to each other, and like you, my husband cannot use it even where we’re at.

Beth: With his job, he understands it has value for me. He sees now how I have grown. Emotionally, when you take the pain out of the equation, man, you can do much more. It has; it’s benefited everything. I’m a better sister to my sibling. I’m a better daughter. I am a better granddaughter. I am a better coworker. You just don’t know it. And that’s so funny. I am a better human for how I now take care of myself. And cannabis was the key to that. It unlocked it for me. 

Emily: It’s so beautiful. I’m glad you found this plant, and I’m so happy you’ve shared your experience here with us. I hope that it helps. We could touch a wide variety of people here, moms and dads, and military families, and I mean, you are coming out and sharing this is very brave and essential. I’m so glad that you did. Now I want to be respectful of your time. I want to ask my guests all the same four questions. Are you ready for them? Our first one-up is, what are you most proud of in your life to date? 

Beth: I’m a life coach and opened my own business because of how cannabis talks about it. Cannabis changed my brain. It changed my attitude, changed my confidence, and helped me get in touch with my intuition. Which I had stuck down for way too long, and it was such a cool gift. I’m kicking myself that I stepped it down for so long. Yeah. I would say, just being where I’m at, how does it get better? This is the question I ask myself very often because it gets better. It does. 

Beth: I would be cranky a lot. I’d be good at it, too, because it’s really how we channel our pain. We have no control over our bodies, and we feel like the only thing we can control is what we say. We’re not even in control of our emotions at that point. It just overrides our system, and we don’t even realize it until it’s all gone. I would be miserable. I would be sad. I would not be me. 

Emily: Yes, I know. Look at you now. You are radiant. You are vibrant. You can feel the love coming out of you; one plant can do that. I’m just so happy that it found you. Me too. Now, if you could go back and give yourself a little piece of cannabis advice 10, 20, or 30 years ago, it doesn’t matter. If you could whisper in your ear, what would you tell yourself? 

Beth: I would tell myself, so it’s hard to put in words. I guess I had a lot of guilt in starting it because the people who look at the kid having a cow in the grocery store don’t have kids. They’re like, “When I have kids, my children will never do this.” then you’re there, and you’re like, oh my gosh, I wish I could go back in time and tell that person, I’m so sorry. I had all these preconceived ideas about what using marijuana was, the people who used it, how it would impact me, and how it would affect me. I was wrong about all of it. It’s you, the individual. What does it mean to you? I what? Will I be a good mom if I teach my kid arithmetic? It’s boring to teach arithmetic. If I can make it fun and enjoy myself simultaneously, he gets more out of it than if I hadn’t. How is that a detriment?

Beth: How does that make me a bad mom? I had to challenge my thoughts. My thinking about my use, about anybody’s use. I realized I had been wrong for a very long time. And so it helps me still to adjust my attitude about it as I learn more about myself and how it helps others. Just the sheer possibility that plants have for this world is excellent. So be nice to yourself. Give yourself a chance. Give other people a chance. You never know what someone’s going through. Our chronic pain, people know this. You never know how much you’re hurting because you can’t see it, and you won’t know how you’re going to feel about marijuana and cannabis until you use it and find a way for it to incorporate it into your life possibly. Be nice to yourself. Be nice to yourself. Don’t guilt yourself for trying something that helps your body. 

Emily: That’s so perfect. And a lot of times we’re, it’s very easy to be hard on ourselves, but it’s not easy to be nice to ourselves. Thank you for that reminder. Our last one, if you could be remembered for just one thing in the cannabis space, what would it be? 

Beth: Life coaching with me is slightly different, and most people have never talked with a life coach. I used a life coach a few times before becoming one myself. And I’m currently attending school to get my master’s degree in psychology with a minor in life coaching. Life coaching with me is, again, it’s that comprehensive support. A system that you need when you’re making huge changes.

Beth: You need a sounding board. You need someone who knows more information about it or has better skills at Googling than you do. You need someone who can hold you accountable or support you when you have no one to support you. Yeah. I often find that I am the confidant, someone needed, but they didn’t trust their friends or their family quite enough.

Beth: To go that route. And I serve as a bridge to help them create the life they want. However, it is. I love self-improvement. That’s what I do in my ordinary job life. Coaching is my extraordinary job, and it works with that too. And so, we look at. We look at the whole picture, the whole person. We throw some tarot and meditation in there. I’m a friendly weirdo. I promise it’ll be cool. And it’s nice to have a different perspective from someone educated. I’ve got a master’s degree in healthcare administration as well. I do process improvement. For my ordinary job, I’ve been a manager, a supervisor, a mom, a business owner.

Beth: I’m a trauma survivor. I’m a military retiree. I’m a disabled veteran. There are all these things that I have lived through that have given me this experience. I just, I’m pulled and drawn to share it with people. It’s truly amazing to see the transformation of my clients and the people I’ve touched, and I’ll still get emails a year later. I still read or watch the video of your reading and this and that, and it made a big difference. And that is what fills me up. It fills up my battery. It keeps me going for more. So yes, if you are at a crossroads, if you are stuck and have to decide, you’d instead go straight. Still, the road is done, that’s usually where people find themselves, and then they find me there to help them make decisions and weigh their options in a way that clears the emotions out of it so that they, too, can see their big picture. And be the best version of themselves that they can be. 

Emily: Oh my gosh. You’re going to get bombarded with emails. I want to. I’m like; I need to be working with death. It seems like a best friend, mom, sister. All of the above. Put it into one. Anybody who works with you is going to be so lucky, and I hope anybody listening who is feeling drawn to you checks out your information. What is your website where people can find you?