Alcohol to Cannabis: A Journey of Healing and Transformation

Elizabeth: He was in a different state when it happened, so there’s this whole, got to get him back home. I have a very caring, nurturing personality anyway. I’m like, that’s my gift to people. I try to help. When he came home and had to recover. I was a heavy drinker. I’d been drinking for years at this point, decades. And I thought shit, I can’t do this. I cannot do this. I knew I couldn’t drink anymore, but there seemed to be no way out. It had become such an embedded part of my life and personality, and when I saw my husband in our home, in our bed in pain, and I physically couldn’t help him emotionally, I wasn’t present, and psychologically, I had just fallen into a pit through the alcohol, and I quit drinking.

Elizabeth: When I got to experience and re-experience cannabis, we opted to find a more natural route instead of using pharmaceuticals to help deal with the pain. The remedy was marijuana. I started smoking again, and I stopped drinking, period. Never looked back. It was like, this is very rare. I’ll say this because I read tarot professionally, so I always make sure my clients understand that any changes you make in your life it is not like flipping a switch when you walk in the room; the light doesn’t suddenly go on. It could take years, not with cannabis and alcohol, but whatever it is that worked out in my life personally, I was able to stop drinking beer was what I went to and never looked back.

Elizabeth: As a side effect of cannabis in my life, I regained the clarity that I’d had decades before. I loved myself again. Physically I was healthier. I was able to physically help my husband in and out of bed and bring him what he needed. All of that thing, taking care of a household. And the five kids. And the animals. I started to like my life again as well. I have a good life. But alcohol blinded me to that, and I’m trying not to focus on that aspect. I am just still so floored. The relationship in my life between cannabis and alcohol and they don’t meld. There’s only space for one, and it’s a very clear-cut decision. For me, the healthier option is cannabis. Now I’m here from four years when I had turned that corner with cannabis in my life, adding clarity in love, I’m new here, and my life has just blossomed, absolutely blossomed, and my husband’s healthy.

Elizabeth: And it did. It also helps to allow calm into someone’s life. There’s a, the aspect of when I’ve taken pharmaceuticals, oh, the pain’s gone, my headache’s gone. But then I get anxious because it’s just going to come back, and I’m just hiding what’s wrong. Cannabis allowed him to think more freely about healing.

Elizabeth: He used it to heal. Now I have continued in my journey with cannabis, and he does occasionally. Still, I use it daily, I’m using it daily, and I’ve gone into the kitchen with it. I’m very in love with the idea of tinctures and edibles. It’s illegal here in Texas, where I live, it’s illegal. It’s more of an if I can’t grow my own product; it’s just cost prohibitive. Going into the kitchen and making these mistakes that cost me. I hope I answered that question. I may have gone off on a short route on my own.

Emily: Yeah, it was perfect. You have such a beautiful story, and I feel like it’s important for women and mothers, in particular, to hear because there are a lot of us that drink alcohol, and whether or not it turns into a problem or not, the bottom line, it’s not good for our health. And in a lot of ways, we are using it to hide from something or to feel numb from something. For a lot of people, alcohol is just so socially acceptable. It doesn’t seem wrong to have a few drinks every night. It just seems normal. But when you look at how it makes you feel and how it makes you feel against your real life, I’m sure just knowing how cannabis is, that you must have been like, oh my gosh. I feel like the world has opened back up again.

Elizabeth: Yes. No, absolutely. I am nodding emphatically as you speak. I am just, yes, it did open back up the journey. I answered the question with my husband’s aspect, my house, and my husband’s part. But when it comes to me in this journey, I started reading tarot all around the same time my husband broke his hip. I quit drinking. We began our lockdowns just a few months later, in March. All of this. I started reading tarot cards and the association, the clarity offered between cannabis and tarot because tarot is, for me thinking way outside the box, way outside the box. And cannabis, this is just more from an artistic perspective. It opened doors that I didn’t know you were there. My thoughts are a little bit different, and I’m much more forgiving with myself than others.

Emily: See, that is something I wanted to talk to you about. I had written down here because you said cannabis makes me more empathetic, and someone else had also said cannabis makes me more compassionate. I want to shout that from the rooftops because it’s an unnoticed, positive side effect. But when we look at the state of the world today, what does the world need? More empathy, more compassion, more kindness. I’m so glad we can talk about this, and I’d love to explore how you feel. It makes you more empathetic and forgiving because we all need more of that

Elizabeth: It is. I think along this same time, I also found my spiritual path, which is I joined a group online called Awkwardly Zen. It’s any form of spirituality; there’s no limitation. It’s very much an open-door policy. And people are typical; they’re very kind. This was a new environment for me. I grew up in a Christian household. I attended church every Sunday, which were the rules I abided by my entire life. And then I come across this group: let’s do whatever we’re doing and be happy about it.

Elizabeth: And I was like, wow. With cannabis in my life and awkwardly Zen, I was able to have a much fuller experience because cannabis allowed me to. There’s a space of time. We get information, we process it, and then we react. There’s that little time before we respond, and cannabis expanded that space for me. So now, instead of me going, which I would’ve done with a beer in my hand, you know what? I don’t like you. I need to get out of my, and it would’ve been just a horrible evening now with cannabis. I’m like, I hear you. I don’t understand you, but I want to join your journey.

Elizabeth: What can you tell me about this? What would you like to share in this moment? It’s taken me years again to get to this point, but I know that without cannabis, I would never have approached it. My mind would’ve been so locked into what I had been taught since I was a child that I would not have accepted the possibility that I could become more, society was happy, and I was happy.

Elizabeth: I love my life, but society was very happy to have me hold the reigns of mother-wife. And caregiver to the home. And I was too. But when society starts to inflict this on me, and I mean inflict where I think I can’t break out of that, I must be that. It’s unhappiness. I felt cannabis and alcohol really made that come home. A lot of unhappiness in there, too, because those thoughts I had, those negative thoughts, flourished with that. Cannabis doesn’t allow negativity to flourish in my mind. It allowed me to see the potential of what else I could be, what I could become, and how I could help others. And through it again, a process not flipping a light switch, but a wonderful process.

Elizabeth: I also found the confidence in myself to form my own company, Willow Root Tarot, which I read tarot with. I have groups of readers that come together and share. And all of that requires compassion and empathy, and cannabis allows me to have that. It is like those doors that I come across in my mind; I can open or close cannabis allows if that makes sense. I’m never worried about what I’m going to see on the other side because I don’t have pent-up frustration and anger all the time now as I did before.

Emily: Yes, that I, yes, everything that you just said, first, I just absorbed it. It is so important for women to listen to this because it transforms lives. I wanted to talk a little bit about what you said about the reaction time because the way you phrase that is so perfect. It does; it expands your reaction time, especially as a mother. I have found it is one of the greatest parenting tools because I’m so much more patient and kinder with my kids, and I think God for that. Parenting is hard, and I am a very controlling type-A person. It’s hard for me to let go and thank gosh, I have cannabis because it does increase my reaction time, and it gives me the ability to pause and think about my reaction before I react. And for me, as a mom, I feel like that’s one of the greatest gifts. Do you find that as well?

Elizabeth: Oh my gosh, yes. And actually, a memory, so this memory pops up once. My son, who was only seven then, went to tell me something, and I said, don’t lie to me before he said anything. And that’s the same example I would give because now I know I would be like, I’d wait. I don’t have to fill that space with sound. I can now have the calm and the presence to let someone else fill that space for themselves. I don’t need to put words in their mouth or ideas in their head. And a lot of that is just being comfortable with me. And cannabis has allowed me to be comfortable with myself.

Emily: I feel the same way. Like I feel like cannabis has given me such confidence in my life to feel like I can do whatever I want to do because even if it doesn’t go the way I want it to, I have cannabis to support me emotionally, physically, and mentally, and gives me the know all to know. First, I’m not super spiritual, but I believe everything happens for a reason.

Emily: I feel like we have paths and purposes, and I don’t know, just if I have a really bad day, at the end of the day, cannabis is there too, and everything will be okay. And I feel like it gives me the confidence to move through life knowing that everything will be okay.

Elizabeth: And that’s that the statement you gave was like a large, in my mind, scale aspect. Everything will be okay on the smaller scale aspect. It could be where cannabis helps me too. Sometimes, I can feel bogged down. I must answer the email, but I don’t know how to phrase it. I know I need to return that call. I have got to put that on my calendar. All these little things. But this is now, and when I say cannabis, that does not mean that I have actively smoked or am currently high. With cannabis, it’s helped me to say, no, I don’t need to answer that email right now.

Elizabeth: That person can wait 24 hours, and I don’t know what I will say. And that’s okay. Cannabis allows me the room to walk away from certain situations until my head is clear. In contrast, before, I probably would’ve had a meltdown during my laptop. Yep. So, it’s like cannabis, it’s a relaxant, but it’s so much more than just the physical components that it offers your life. It helps my mind to be okay with what’s happening, and it helps me prioritize that email. Not really that important, that phone call; she’s real sweet, and she’s a good friend, but no, I’m not going to give her that callback. But now, over here, I have got to schedule this event. If I don’t do that, I’ll do the event, and I’ll be happy about it, and I’ll take a breath, and then I’ll move on to the next project, or I won’t. But cannabis has allowed me to be more in touch with my inner self. And part of that, and this is just a personal note, my guide is one way to refer to it as my inner voice.

Elizabeth: I call it my Jiminy cricket, like the subconscious, so I listen more clearly now, and I may not always go with what my inner voice tells me, but I. It’s so much clearer. I can hear it more or feel a nudge to go in one direction, not another. I know that cannabis has helped clarify for me to experience these nudges, as I call them. And when I started paying attention to those nudges, my life became so much better. I really do know what’s best for me. It’s just about listening to what’s best for me.

Emily: I am so glad you said that. I have found that my intuition, I listen to it, I respect it. I can hear it; I can feel it. And. Every decision that I like, a major decision that I’ve made, has been made on my first gut intuition feeling, and it has never done me wrong.

Emily: I absolutely believe cannabis has really helped me with that. And again, that’s one of those unsung, like we don’t really talk about that as a benefit, but it’s one of the most sacred benefits. It can improve your life’s quality in so many ways. And for many people, they think, okay, cannabis gets high, cannabis helps with pain, help with anxiety. But when we get deep down into it, there are so many beautiful things it can help with.

Elizabeth: It is. And the perfect word for intuition. That is it. Intuition is a huge part of my life. I had never really experienced it before cannabis. And that goes hand in hand; as I said, all these things happen simultaneously. And part of that was exploring the spiritual path. And when I say spiritual, I do want to say this isn’t a Christian path but a spiritual one. Anything you bring to the table would be welcome at this gathering. And then, with this, people talk about intuition, lending, and listening to their guide or guides.

Elizabeth: And I am sure that I don’t want to. Okay. Without cannabis. I don’t know if I ever would’ve heard it. Yeah. My inner self. And then especially true, even though I have a network of like-minded friends without cannabis, I don’t know if I would’ve embraced it. It gave me that confidence, clarity, and calm to go, okay, I’m literally going to listen to me. That’s my intuition. That’s me. And oh God, I’m so happy I did. As you were saying, you can make large life choices with your intuition. And I do it daily. But for me, it’s like that little knockout, like the email or the phone call or the Marco Polo, my favorite app, the text the meeting that you have.

Elizabeth: For me, it’s the clarity of the smaller life decisions and knowing where I should put my energy, where I should not, and where I have a choice of whether I will. I could almost be drawn as a map. I don’t know how to say that more clearly, but this map would be beautiful and cover large expanses of land with different topography and climate. Before cannabis, it probably would’ve just been cloudy and smudgy, and we couldn’t tell what path was safest. So we would stay home, not even use the map. So my map now to life shows clarity and beauty, whereas before, it was very foggy, and I did not trust it.

Emily: Ah, that’s so beautiful. I hope people are like ears perked up. What? Because you have yet to experience this, It’s within reach. There’s nothing special aside from you using cannabis in your own ways, but this is attainable for many people. So many people wish for peace in their everyday lives. And the way you describe it is just so beautiful. I hope somebody listening, who maybe hasn’t tried cannabis before, is, oh my gosh. I need to be like Elizabeth, experience this, and see these changes in my life. And the next thing I want to talk about, it sounds like I experienced this, and I want to know if you do too. Cannabis helps your productivity because of clarity and patience.

Elizabeth: Oh my gosh, yes. The patience. Yes. Not beating myself up because I couldn’t think of the right words, took too long, or did it too fast. It doesn’t matter. Things that don’t matter get brushed away; that’s just going to go over in the corner and gather dust, and eventually, a nice wind will blow them out of the house. I won’t have to worry about it. But those thoughts, those that self-doubt less now. Yeah. I might have lost; did that answer the question? I want to make sure I get lost in my own thoughts.

Emily: Absolutely. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like there’s just such a long-held stigma that if you use cannabis, you will be lazy. You’re going to want to sit on the couch; you’re not going to want to do anything where you’re really highlighting, hey, not only do I feel better, but now I feel so much better. I’ve gone out, and I’ve explored new hobbies and new lifestyles. I started a business, like all these amazing things, because of using cannabis. None of that is laziness, and I really want to drive that home to people because. Most people, when they feel better, are more productive.

Elizabeth: Yes. Yes. And that’s the thing, too, when you’re saying that initially, I had this image, my friend and I, my first experience. I was 13 and went into the woods behind the school and smoked a joint. That may be classic, but depending on the age, it’s a similar story for many people. That experience and my mental, emotional, and intellectual maturity at the time I was 13, my experience with my best friend at the time, was lovely. But that’s not the perspective of a 48-year-old woman. So, if anyone is considering trying cannabis again, renewing their relationship, but remember what happened before, you’re not that person from before. You are now; you are you now. So, your experience now will be different. The progress as a country that we have made in legalization.

Elizabeth: Now, again, I live in Texas, where we’ve locked it down. Nope, not happening. But there are areas if you have access to cannabis now, you could get some gummies, something fun, or a brownie or a cookie. You can do it if you’re vegan as I am, you can find bakers that utilize THC in their foods, but you don’t have to have the eggs and the dairy.

Elizabeth: You can bring it home to your kitchen and try it with your amazing website. I love your recipes. Oh my God, thank you. You can do anything from Emily Kyle’s website, distill the effect of cannabis THC into oil and use a lubricant. My 13-year-old experience to my 48, we’ll say 44, was about four years ago. 44-year-old experience is so radically different. I hope anyone thinking of re-experiencing or experiencing for the first time considers that we are what we are now, not what we were. So the experience is going to be maybe a little bit different. I enjoy it a lot more now than before. There’s less hiddenness to it.

Emily: Yeah. I’m so glad you said that because you would be surprised how many people have similar stories. I used to experiment in my teenage years. Had a family, put that aside, and are ready to come back to it or have come back to it. So, thank you so much for sharing that advice because there’s nothing more true. You are not the same person as you were then. So obviously, your experience will be different, and we have more knowledge to do it safely and responsibly. It doesn’t have to be a joint in the woods. It could be a gummy or some oil in the kitchen. There are lots of different ways and lots of different ways to get an education; a simple Google search and give yourself a little bit of background knowledge. There are a lot of people who are coming back to it and just realizing, wow. I didn’t know what I was missing, or it was just so different than the experience before and so much more enjoyable.

Elizabeth: No, absolutely. I have dreams. I love my business now, but I would absolutely, if Texas legalized it, try to figure out how to offer edibles to people. Yeah. It’s just, it’s, and I will say too, it’s so amazing. I will say, too that I have friends that have tried it for the first time, and it’s all about, in my mind, personal experience, dosage, going low dose, and then going higher. And that may sound like common sense, but I know that if I were still thinking with my 13-year-old brain, I’d be like, I can go ahead and do all of that.

Elizabeth: And then my 40-year-old brain will take a portion of that and see how you feel, and then wait two hours and return to it. I do want to stress that because I think cannabis. I know that cannabis, in my life, has been such a pleasure and a growth potential that those looking at it, using it, and having it flourish their own help to flourish their own life dosage. Start low and then up it a little bit at a time because it’s, I feel like I’m pushing this idea on people, but it is a beautiful experience for me that I hope other people’s other people can share as well.

Emily: I feel like everybody who’s been impacted by cannabis wants to share it with others because once you know what life was like before it, and you know what life is like afterward, and you see all the benefits with very few side effects, and then you feel like you have to share that with other people because everybody deserves to feel as good as you do now.

Elizabeth: I do. And at 48, I have a lot of friends who, at this point in my life, a lot of my friends have gone through surgeries or injuries and back issues, and that’s when we start seeing opiate abuse because it’s a consistent pain. And I will say I got a flashback to my husband. He was. Not wanting to depend on big pharma. And cannabis is an alternative. It’s a personal choice. It’s what you decide is best for you. But in our household, it was the best choice. So just for that aspect, so many of my friends, I’m like, try gummy or a brownie or, and see if that helps to alleviate the shoulder ache. Then let’s work into yoga, or we’ll walk. But with cannabis, I find that the idea of pain relief was paramount. That helped. But then I could get my mind around; I would help myself with yoga. I have daily back pain. Sometimes, I get out of bed in the morning, and I’m hunched over, and I’m taking very small steps, and the first thing I do is get on my yoga mat without fail.

Elizabeth: And there’s a woman online. I do Yoga With Cassandra is on YouTube, and she has videos as short as eight minutes. You can nail down 10 minutes in the morning really fast. And she talks about it. She’s before your coffee; let’s go get some yoga. I can walk. But now, without cannabis, I would probably be popping pills in my bathroom every morning because my back hurts. I’m having a hard, hard time walking. I get off my yoga mat. Now this is, again, me; this is a personal story. This is only for some. And I can walk; I’ll visit that yoga mat again in the evening. I can walk. But I do that also throughout the day. Cannabis helps me to stay open-minded to potential.

Elizabeth: I’m not locked into what society says I need to be, or I need to do, or I need to ingest. This is my path, and I’m choosing where I want to go on my path. And cannabis is helping me have a clearer perspective of what is possible. Now, let’s say I went to yoga, and I was like, this suck. It doesn’t work for me with cannabis in my life. I know that there would still be another homeopathic remedy. It’s not. It really has turned me off Big Pharma. I don’t know if that’s just a common side effect, but now I look at it, and I go, I can do this, or I can pollute my system with whatever big pharma’s pushing out this month, the flavor of the month.

Emily: You are not alone in that at all. I think a lot of people, once they see the benefits of cannabis, are so much more open to all the other natural remedies. Maybe they hadn’t been open to yoga or meditation, but something about cannabis makes you more. Open-minded to all the other natural remedies out there and more likely to experiment with them.

Emily: And for most people, they find that they enjoy them a lot more. And it builds this holistic lifestyle of all, like healthy health-promoting behaviors that really help to eliminate the need for big pharma and eliminate the need for doctors. And I always say, I’m not against it if people need it. I want you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy. But with cannabis, it really is, I don’t want to say, a gateway, but it’s a gateway to other holistic measures. And improving your health and wellness in different ways.

Elizabeth: Absolutely. Absolutely. Even just sitting in, I’m on meetup meetup.com often in the groups, which allows me to have more. It will give me space for people to share their viewpoints. Before I probably, I was very triggered. I had a lot of anger issues. Cannabis has; it’s not like cannabis stopped me from being triggered or having anger, but it helped me work through being triggered. It helped me to find the sources of my anger. So that helps to eliminate it. I guess that’s a more significant thing too. Cannabis allows my life to explore. I’m not just coming in; I want an answer and a quick fix. I’m enjoying the journey of discovering how to be a better person, and cannabis is a massive part of that.

Emily: That is beautiful. And it’s so true. I find everybody who’s experienced cannabis, maybe they came for it. Came to it for pain. Perhaps they came to it for anxiety, but then they find all these other benefits, and they’re like, this is it. This is what I need for life. I’m never doing anything else. Me and Cannabis we’re happily married forever and ever.

Emily: It’s just, and one of my questions I always ask people at the end, I’ll ask it now, and I say to people, what would your life look like if you didn’t have cannabis? And everybody is, I don’t know. And it’s not from an addictive standpoint. It’s not like I couldn’t live without it, but it’s like, what would life be without it?

Elizabeth: It’s life. So that’s I could look at the question two ways if I had never had it or if I stopped now? If I stopped now, I’d be okay. I am. I’m so much better. But let’s flash two. I imagine never having re-experienced it again. I’d probably be dead. My diet was horrible. I drank, my blood pressure was through the roof, and now I have blood pressure that is at healthy levels; it’s below. There’s no concern anymore. That’s without medication. That’s just putting down the beer and picking up the joint. I say that in my this is my own experience. I always feel like I need to revisit my own experience.

Elizabeth: Health-wise, I don’t know if I’d still be here. I know that if I were still functioning physically and emotionally, I would be a train wreck, and I probably wouldn’t be helping my children at all in their life’s purpose, whatever that may be. But now I know I am, and a lot of times, whereas before, I felt like every single space had to be filled with something, even if it was chaos because I didn’t have any clear thoughts with the alcohol, cannabis allows me to say, we can totally chill.

Elizabeth: We don’t have to talk. We can let the space flow. I don’t have to fill every moment with what I want in it. It’s, we’re sharing this freaking planet, right? I can be okay with just being calm and cool right now. I can let my kids experience their own life. I don’t have to be controlling. And I can say that, too, because my eldest is 25, and my youngest is about to turn 13. I have a little more freedom there. I don’t have the youngsters at home. But so without cannabis, without ever having re-experienced it, it’s frightening. It makes me sad. It makes me very sad. Having re-experienced it and seeing the potential, understanding, and value, I have value I offer.

Elizabeth: I am useful. I am gifted. I am loved, and I love myself; I never saw that before and now I do, and it just makes me want to keep going. I want to see what happens. It’s just; it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful. And I think too that with states moving towards legalization, at least in part or in whole or entire countries, Canada, we society being, is more open to it. There are not quite as many constrictions around it. And certainly, from when I was 13 to now 48, it’s not, you’re a bad person, you’re a criminal. The first thing they said that my experience growing up in Virginia was where marijuana is decriminalized; they still make it sound like a horrible, bad thing.

Elizabeth: Yeah. It grows in the ground. It’s a plant. You can eat it whole, or you can eat cannabis raw in your salad. It’s full of nutrients. It’s densely packed, and it’s still illegal. When I look at all of this, I am slightly off-topic. I do. I can’t help but think it’s just our government or big pharma collectively working to keep cannabis illegal and out of the hands of the population because it does help. It doesn’t have to be the physical aspect of pain relief. For me, it was way much more. Emotionally I’m mature. Intellectually I’m mature, and I have less anxiety and anger in my life, and that’s without going to my pharmacist and not being sure of what the side effects are. It literally grows in the ground, from start to finish, from seed in my hand to finish product in the other over the course of many months, I can watch it grow, and I can do that.

Elizabeth: I can grow the plant. Yeah. With love, it’s amazing. And a sense of community, and it’s illegal. Yeah. And that’s what, really, when I start thinking about that, I don’t have much trust in why it’s illegal. I value that we are moving toward everyone having an opportunity to safely and legally try. I’m just hopeful. I live in a state where we’ll probably be one of the last ones in our great country to legalize, and that’s fine. But I know we’re getting there. I know we’re getting to a point where in my mind, we’re saying to the collective, our nation’s citizens, that we can all enjoy this. And it’s a choice.

Elizabeth: Exercise choice, exercise responsibility, exercise what you know you need in your life. It’s that whole aspect for me of whatever I hear or experience. If it works for me, I pick it up and take it with me. And if it doesn’t, I leave it. It’s not my weight; it’s not my burden. But when it’s illegal, and people aren’t given the chance to decide for themselves, it’s just creating or making even stronger that barrier that society has against the benefits of cannabis and what our government says should and should not be. So, hopefully, we will live in a day when everyone gets to choose.

Emily: I’m hopeful we’ll see it maybe in our lifetimes. I am surprised that we’ve seen as much progress as we have in the last 10 years. I must always remain hopeful. I share the same sentiments. Why is this illegal, and why do we allow this to be still illegal? Why do we give the government this type of power? I feel like it’s a human rights issue. We have endocannabinoid systems. You’re keeping something away that interacts with our bodies. It’s really crazy when you think about it. I guess one thing I did want to ask you, too, coming from Texas coming from a religious background, did you feel were scared of the stigma and the stereotype transitioning into cannabis? And if someone’s listening on the other end from an illegal state, from a religious background who is struggling, how what advice do you have for them? Because you’re very different than where you were even just a few years ago. I think.

Elizabeth: One of the things that I try to keep in mind in life is that everything that I do, like deciding to, let’s say that, okay, let’s say that you decide to go ahead and smoke a joint. You live in a state where it’s illegal. You were brought up in a household where they told you it was a sin. Perhaps don’t break any law. You’re going against the wishes of a higher being if you do that kind of thing. But you want to experience it, make that choice for yourself, and stop living for what society tells you should do.

Elizabeth: Now I sound like I’m coming down with a gavel on this. I’m making a judgment for you. But what I want to say is that if you do choose to experience it, it’s not necessarily something you need to share with other people. It could be something that you do because, in Texas, where it’s illegal, I don’t publicize that. I smoke. People know, of course, but it’s not something I don’t do in public, and everyone can treat it that way. And this is, again, the whole idea of before the reaction, you have this space. So if I smoke and then I think, I’m going to tell 15 of my best friends. I just did this.

Elizabeth: I’m like, I’m new to it again, right? But you don’t even know where the process is going. You don’t know how you’re going to feel yet. You’re going to have the munchies or take a nap or watch your favorite show, or whatever, and stare at the clouds. Give that space just for yourself. It’s okay to be with yourself when you experience whatever it is you’re experiencing.

Elizabeth: And then wait, give yourself like maybe 24 hours, and then tell someone what happened. I think the whole idea here with cannabis, and at least for me, is to provide myself with a full experience. If I start inviting everybody into the room, even for a couple of seconds or maybe minutes or hours, and this is just for a conversation, not even necessarily to share the product itself, then I’m limiting myself from that experience. Whatever your journey is, please allow yourself space. To appreciate it and to wholeheartedly have it just for you. Inviting someone into your area doesn’t make it a more meaningful experience. It just means that you must give and share more of yourself, which is usually a great thing, but sometimes it’s the alone aspect that’s going to help.

Elizabeth: When trying to decide if cannabis is something that you would like to start or re-experience, give yourself those private moments to do now; if you’re at a party and your friend’s Hey, I have some gummies, you want to, then yeah, if that’s your comfort zone, totally do it. But I think the biggest aspect here was knowing that I can trust myself to make the decisions that are best for me.

Elizabeth: I’ve learned that the way that I do that best is by holding space for myself to experience. So maybe make it a more private moment. Chill out with some Star Trek at night. Eat a gummy. That’s my go-to show. Write in your journal. Meditate Yin yoga. Oh my God. I love it when I’m well and when I’m high.

Elizabeth: See, and this is even terminology, just saying to you now straight, we’ve just met, and we have a rapport. And even saying hi makes me nervous. Yeah, I know. Texas is wholly locked down. I know. I’m not sure where you live or what the situation there is, but I can go to jail. This isn’t a joke. I can end up in jail for an extended period of months. It’s crazy. It is crazy. But I think it’s more important that I have this conversation with you, that I take this chance to explore this aspect. This conversation holds space for me to enjoy it. And then when I come out of it, I can decide if it was a conversation that I want to have again, and I would, because I think it’s important that people understand it is their choice.

Elizabeth: The legality of the state you live in, of course, plays into part of it because you could go to jail, but it’s your choice. If you have an opportunity to experience it, I think it’s worth taking. But I think it would be something that you should take. And really let it be for yourself, not the group of people you’re with or the people that you want to call up. I just took a gummy, it’s only been 10 minutes, but I think I feel it. Then wait an hour and a half and see how you feel, and then the next day, call your friends. I hope that makes sense. It’s that whole state.

Emily: It’s such good advice. It’s such good advice because when we’re with others, we feel the need to please or any one of the social norms. And when you’re by yourself, it doesn’t matter. You do what you want to do. That’s beautiful advice. Thank you so much for sharing, and hopefully, anybody listening who has never tried and is scared to will take your advice and take some alone time and really see how it goes. And honestly, if it’s not for you, it’s not for you. And if you don’t like it, you don’t ever have to tell anybody anyways.

Elizabeth: That’s the thing. You don’t have to share your experience; I don’t have to share my experiences, regardless of what they are. Even enjoyable ones, I don’t need to go tell people. But that’s a new thought for me. I don’t know why I thought everything had to be publicized with a bullhorn. Yes. But now it’s like I am born into, and I’m very; I’m a gregarious person. But I also value where I take those moments of me, that it is a form of meditation to, you don’t have to, I don’t have to be sitting still, legs crossed, prayer pose to meditate. I can be at. Target shopping for hummus and meditating.

Elizabeth: I could be knowing, just living in the moment of taking a few special seconds, minutes for myself while I’m vacuuming, but it’s still my time. The same with cannabis. Whatever I experience with cannabis can be personal, or it can be public, but it knows that I have a choice to make it. I think that’s the important aspect. Knowing I have a choice, it’s easy to say, but when you really exercise choice. In multiple areas of my life, that’s when I started to see where my power and potential were. And these are small choices again, though. But yeah, I moved from a series of well-drinking series of engagements of drinking and not having the confidence and the power to now exploring that. And cannabis absolutely has opened those doors for me, and it allows me to see just how much choice I have in my life. It’s wonderful.

Emily: It’s beautiful because I feel like a lot of people skate through life, feeling like they don’t have a choice. This is my life; this is the way it is. I can’t change it. And to show that you absolutely can. I hope it reaches the right person who’s ready for a change or in need of a change, and hopefully, this conversation can spark that for them.

Elizabeth: I hope so. I hope so. There’s absolutely something to say the calm and the lessening of anxiety it brings me helps me to approach situations where I would normally be very nervous and perhaps not even want to experience it.

Elizabeth: Yes. But I can, and again, it’s all with dosage. A very small amount, barely tempering the system, will help you to help well me to experience something new. You can, again, up the dose, and I would probably be on the couch watching Star Trek with cooking in my hand, which is awesome. Yes. Depending on what you want.

Elizabeth: It’s exactly that. It’s I think I get worried that the stigma, at least that I still experience, is coming from. I can see this cartoon in front of me of these two people sitting on a couch, and they’re stoned, and that’s it. That’s what your life is. You, you will never get off the couch. You will never have goals, and you’ll never be able to provide for your family. And that’s bullshit. I saw a cartoon once, a sketch like a Sunday comic, but one a teacher had given to us. We were in seventh grade, and it was these two people sitting on the couch; they just smoked, and they were talking about how they were going to rob the old lady that lived down the street cuz they were high.

Elizabeth: I thought, this is the best, this is the best you can come up with to convince me not to. Okay, we can go there. But it’s this horrible idea of what cannabis was in my own head to what it is now because of where I live. I’m not seeing society catch up to the benefit. I’m reading about it online. I’m talking to you right now. I have friends that live in legal states. I visited legal states. I go to the dispensaries, and I buy gummies. It’s great. I still live in fear because of the environment that I exist in. So it’s worth it. I’m speaking publicly about it with a little bit of fear in my heart because it’s so important. Cannabis has literally saved my life. Yeah. I, it literally saved my life, and it’s illegal. I just don’t get it.

Emily: It is really is mind-blowing, and the more I talk about this, the more I think that they have. They, the powers that be, have driven home all these terrible stereotypes of cannabis to be the opposite of what they make you do. They drive home the stereotype that you’re lazy, even though it’ll make you much or make you productive, and they drive home the stereotype that you’re going to rob a grandma when you’re more compassionate and empathetic than you’ve ever been before. And just seeing that is like, why I cannot believe that we’re doing this.

Emily: I live in New York; it’s everything’s legal here. I no longer live in fear. I spent several years living in fear. I’m heartbroken for you and everybody else who does not have that level of freedom and calm. And just the acceptance that you deserve to feel better and treat yourself in a way that feels right without feeling like a criminal.

Elizabeth: Yeah. No, also. Absolutely. It’s just insane. For a portion of my life, a few years ago, I had gone on Prozac. This was before cannabis, say, six years ago. I was on it for four months. The physical side effects were horrendous. I’d fall over, I’d be walking, and I’d fall over, I’d fall down my stairs, and my balance was gone. My vision would blur and go black. I lost my vision. Okay? This was all on Prozac, which I quit on my own about four months into. I thought I was making this so much worse. This is again, and I had I was drinking at the time. I didn’t drink when I was on Prozac, but that was an odd side effect.

Elizabeth: Prozac, it’s very odd. But the whole idea was that I would kill parts of my body because I didn’t want to be angry. The doctor had said, you want to be a better mom. Here’s Prozac. Okay? Now, six years later, I’m a way better mom. And it’s not Prozac. And it’s an illegal substance that’s homeopathic.

Emily: I think we’re supposed to trust these doctors. Nope. Who says this is what’s right for you. We’ve we’re raised, and especially the older generations raised to say, what the doctor says goes, they know what they’re talking about, and they have your best interest at heart. And I think for a lot of us; it’s a real realization of “Oh my God, that’s not true at all.”

Elizabeth: Yeah. It’s scary. It’s scary. And it’s also freeing because I do, I don’t. I’m not saying to myself I won’t see my GP. Of course, I’ll see my GP; I hurt my foot or my shoulders wonky. But I also know that emotionally, no, I’m not going to go to big pharma for my emotional state. I’m going to have myself for that. I’m going to have cannabis if I feel that I will; I need therapy. I will have a therapist. Yeah. And all of those are helping me to express myself, not hide myself. Yeah. The Prozac was trying to put like a blanket over a blanket of all my symptoms, but it wasn’t helping my childhood wounds.

Elizabeth: Cannabis is helping me to explore those and to be honest and comfortable with myself. And here’s the big thing. For me, cannabis allows me to explore at my own pace. Yeah. There’s no one saying that in six months, I want to see you reach this goal. No, there is no goal. This is my life, and it’s my goal to live it as it comes, and cannabis helps me do that. It’s just; it is just amazing. It’s an amazing remedy to so much of what life offers. The remedy is not quite the right word. It’s like frosting on a cake. It’s tough. You can’t go wrong.

Emily: The cherry on top. I love what you just said. There’s no end when you’re using cannabis. There’s no; for a lot of people, pain relief is a goal. Anxiety relief is a goal. And when I say there’s no end, I don’t mean it because it’s addictive. I mean because it can join you in your life as your life is going to change as you get older. And you can bring that with you and use it in different ways to accommodate your lifestyle needs. But there’s really no end really. It’s just it’s there with you. It’s like a friend. It’s just there with you to hold your hand and be there when you need it.

Elizabeth: Absolutely. Absolutely. I’m a highly visual person, and when I was looking over the questions beforehand, and I’ve had my notes here, I thought, how am I summing this up? And I saw it in my head. Me. Looking off into the far distance at another version of me, just a cookie cutter, right? Yeah. And she is looking at a far-distant version of us. It never ends. Yeah. It’s simply how far you are going to allow yourself to go. And that’s why goals are great, but you have an entire life to live.

Elizabeth: Yeah. You know what I mean? Goals are great, but they’re not necessarily there to be met. It’s okay. And cannabis has; let me see that it is back to the email that I must answer or the call to return. It’s a choice. And I sensibly weigh where to put my energy, yeah. Cannabis helps me to sensibly weigh where to put my energy in what moment and how much of it, all that kind of thing.

Elizabeth: And it does so in a way that I don’t feel as stressed. I don’t feel I’m going to fail someone or myself. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It’s softer, and it helps me to see it’s not; it adds passion. It helps me to believe and be careful about more things. And because of that, I am respectful of where I put my energy. I offer the most where I can when I can, and I understand when to pull back all this again through cannabis. It’s just amazing.

Emily: I am so glad that you’ve shared; I feel like I am like soaking up your wisdom, and I echo the same thing, but I love hearing someone else say it back because it’s so beautiful that it can impact all of us in these amazing, beautiful ways. I want to be respectful of your time. I’m going to start with our questions. We only have three because I already got to one. Are you ready for them?  To date in your life, what are you most proud of?

Elizabeth: I started this question four times because I kept going to; it’s a hard one. It is. I kept going to my company, and I want to say My company is small and for me, and anyone can do this. I really want to say this. Anyone can do this. Okay. Yes. And then I’ll get off that. And I kept going to my company, and I thought, but that’s, is that what I’m most proud of? Is that honestly about me? That’s the only thing I can come up with. I flashback to the label of mom. I’m only a mom. When people find out, especially when they find out I have five kids, it’s immediate. The change, the everything, you’re a mom, and they can’t see past it. No. So what I’m most proud of is the ability to see past what society has put on me as labels. I am proud that I have the compassion and strength to look inside at what troubles me. The wounds that I carry from childhood are small, smaller, and big.

Elizabeth: It doesn’t matter because I can. It’s not about fixing me; it’s letting me speak. It’s letting me be whole. And a whole me is a traumatized, somewhat broken, scarred me. But I am beautiful, and I am proud that I see the entire picture of me and am pleased. And I am proud that with this entire picture of me, I know that there is tomorrow and tomorrow. That image of me looking at a further self, looking at a further self, never stops. And there is zero reason for me. I am proud of these thoughts because they are limitless. There is no reason for me to think that this physical container that I live in ends my existence. Once it ends, I am proud that I allow myself compassion.

Elizabeth: I am to think these thoughts. I’m allowed; I am proud that I recognize I have strength and I am capable. And none of this was happening just four years ago. So in a short space of four years, I am proud that I believe in myself.

Emily: Oh my gosh, that’s beautiful. And I really hope that this conversation reaches someone and that they can turn around and say the exact same thing, whether it be four years or five years. I hope that your words echo loud and proud because I’m so happy for you that you found cannabis. It’s such a blessing, and I can see it. I can feel it when you talk. It’s just changed your life. Now it goes to our next question. If you could sit down with yourself 10, 20, or even 30 years ago and give yourself just a little piece of cannabis advice, what would it be?

Elizabeth: The, so what I wrote down initially in this, in, in the cannabis advice, okay, so I put down three things, what I could tell myself, you’re fabulous, your life is wonderful. I love you. The best piece of cannabis advice I could give myself is that regardless of what I do if I choose to pick up a beer again, if I’m going back 10, 20, or 30 years, right? Pick up a joint. At the time, we didn’t have edibles. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up. Everything about the life you’re going to experience is a series of simulations. You’re just getting to some parts that you have yet to know. It’s okay. What happens now. And when I went to me.

Elizabeth: Prior self and I said, you’re fabulous. I meant it when I said your life is wonderful. I see what you will become. And when I said, I love you, and I love me sitting here today talking to you. Even if I had felt those feelings, that passion prior to cannabis, I never would have been able to formulate those words. Yeah, three words I love. You can change a person’s life when you say it to yourself. When I say to myself, I love you. I never would’ve been able to do that. I never would’ve been able to verbalize something that is so inherently important to hear, and it’s a gift I can give myself. I don’t need someone else to tell me. But without cannabis, it wouldn’t have happened.

Elizabeth: Thankful for it. Yes. It’s, and the old me immediately would’ve been like I, or excuses would’ve started coming, or the reasons why I can’t. And instead, I’m listening to you going; she’s right. She’s totally freaking right.  

Emily: It’s so beautiful. Until people experience it, they won’t. No, they must experience it for themselves. So yes, hopefully, listening to this conversation, if you haven’t yet, or you had it in the past, and you’re re-exploring that relationship, I really hope that this conversation gives you all those feelings of excitement and wonder in magic that could really be in the future.

Emily: So let’s get to our very last question, and I want to talk about Willow Root Tarot. If you could be remembered for one thing in the cannabis space, what would it be? And what are you doing now? How can people who feel absolutely drawn to you on these amazing conversations that we have how they can reach out to you and get to know you better as well?

Elizabeth: Starting in the end with how they can reach out to me. I am big on meetups. Meetup.com is a free platform, and you can find Willow Root Tarot there. I offer free, completely free Taro meetups. I read Tarot and Norse Ruins. But you can bring whatever modality or gifts that you have and share it, express it. You will get it; please feel free to reach out to me or message me on Meetup if you have any questions about that. I’m not going into that aspect, but it’s a fun group of loving people, and probably several of us are enjoying cannabis.

Elizabeth: The government’s legal status, because that’s a heavy umbrella, that’s an umbrella over my life. So, I’m stepping outside of that umbrella. I’m letting the joyous rain pelt me on the skin. I’m going to say; I’d like to be remembered for, I would like to be remembered for pushing for people to have freedom, to have a quality. And this can be found in multiple areas of life, including what you’re being told you can and cannot consume. Without touching on finer subject trigger subjects, all of this, to me, is coming down to choice. Choice as a woman. Where I have some areas, I’m granted choice in some areas. As a woman, especially in the state of Texas, I am not granted a choice.

Elizabeth: I want everyone to have freedom of choice. Speaking as someone who does not have freedom of choice and in the cannabis community, something that is so helpful and beneficial, I want people to have that choice. I would like to be seen as someone who, at least in this small way, spoke to you today and openly expressed my life with cannabis in a state where I am not kidding.

Elizabeth: I could be in jail. I want people to not live in fear of making their lives better, and I want something that I can go out to my backyard and, without help from anyone, create, consume, and live with; I want the government to get its hands off that, and I want to be as someone who tried to help that process come along. I want people to really want to have a choice and to push for the ability to have a choice. It can be done just by smoking or edibles. It can be done by going to marches. It could be done through wonderful conversations with people. You’ve just met. All these things. But I would like for people to think that she wanted others to have a choice.

Emily: That’s beautiful. And that just perfectly sums up this because it’s my goal that it’s just conversations like these that reach ears that we don’t even know of in different quarters of our country, legal or not, and that they hear your words and feel like they have a choice. Like they are able and maybe give themselves a little bit more confidence just through your confidence that they have a choice, and they can make that choice legal or not. However, they share it, and they can really give themselves an opportunity to explore the magic that we have had.

Elizabeth: The opportunity to explore. Absolutely. Absolutely. And just flashing back on what you had said about how cannabis opens to the homeopathic community, it does. Oh, my golly. I’ve been practicing yoga since I was 28 on and off, but until cannabis, I’m now pretty much daily with yoga. I almost fell asleep in a yin yoga session. Come on. I was so in the zone. Yes. So with cannabis, I’m able to help myself physically as well as emotionally and intellectually. Oh, my golly. It’s just; it’s awesome. It’s amazing,

Emily: Isn’t it? It’s just this full circle, a running wheel, and you keep pouring in from all these different aspects, and it just leads to a better us in the end. It’s really a beautiful thing, and I’m so thankful that you came and shared your experience here with us. I think it’s going to be a wildly popular episode. You have such wisdom and grace, and I’ll put so all the links to meet up and everyone who wants to get ahold of you and learn more about Willow Root Tarot and to reach out to you and get your lovely aura. I feel like I’ve enjoyed this conversation so much. Thank you so much for being here. Any last words for the audience?