Finding Calm: Being a More Present Parent with Cannabis

Emily: Welcome to another episode of the Well With Cannabis Podcast. Today, I am super excited. We are going to be talking about motherhood and all things cannabis with our friend, Barb. Hello, welcome. How are you tonight?

Barb: I’m a stay-at-home mom, and let’s see here. I’ve got a four-year-old and a two-year-old. And yes, so I’m lucky, although it’s hard.

Barb: I live in a state in the United States where it’s legal. So anyway, I tried it. My first experience was horrible. It was a panic attack, feeling tired, and your eyes are moving so fast. It’s almost like time is just speeding past you.

But after that, after I came out of that panic attack, I had a calm about myself. I remember thinking with the kids because I want to be a good mom, but I have too high standards.

I remember coming out because I had sat down in the bathtub for about an hour. I was like; I’m going to die. When I came out, I looked around, and the house was messy, and there were dishes in the sink, but the kids were playing.

I remember sitting down and looking at them and going if I can get past that crazy feeling the first few times you use it and just get to the calm, I know how to use it. I know when I can use it, where I can use it. I’m like; I can watch my kids play and not be constantly going through my to-do list in my head.

Emily: Yes. That is a great way to put it, not constantly going through your to-do list. Someone else, another mom I was talking to, explained that she could sit in the living room and play with her kids and not be mad that the room was dirty or messy.

Barb: Yeah, yeah.

Emily: I thought that was a great way to say it, too; when I didn’t use cannabis for a short time when I became a new mom, I remember feeling that anxiety, anger, and resentment, and with cannabis, I don’t have any of that. I’m wondering if you feel the same.

Barb: Oh yes, absolutely. Like your other mom said that she could sit and everything be a mess, but she can enjoy that moment. For me, like from the… It’s hard for me to explain it. Sorry.

Emily: No, you’re fine.

Barb: Also, you might have to edit this out. I took a few puffs off of my vape, and now I’m like, darn, I’m confused.

Emily: if that’s not the best way to do a podcast, I’m right there with you. I won’t even edit that out because that’s real life. We’re moms. It’s the end of the day; we’re ready for bed. I totally get it. I’m glad you shared that with us because that’s real and what people need to see.

Barb: Oh yeah. Going back to the question, building on that, I don’t go through the to-do list, and I can sit and put everything aside. I don’t have to have anything in my hand. I’m talking, like no cell phones.

I crochet. I don’t have to have my hands busy. I don’t have to… I don’t have to have more than one thing going on at a time. It’s so real. It’s such a relief that I can just enjoy my kids, which is what everybody’s like; they’re going to grow so fast, and you’re going to miss it.

I’m like; I want to be in a place where I know I’ll miss it and not be like, ugh, every time somebody says that.

Emily: I’m so happy you said that. For anyone who’s not… I feel like everyone who’s listening to this podcast is probably already pro-cannabis. But if there’s someone out there listening who’s anti-cannabis and can’t really understand it.

Time after time, I talk to moms who say: “I am a better parent because I use cannabis.” I am kinder; I am more patient. I am more loving and more attentive.

I don’t understand why people can’t listen to that message and accept it and be like; I am so glad that these children have mothers who care enough to care for themselves to be better mothers.

Barb: Absolutely, absolutely. I think, as you said, people who are maybe hesitant to try cannabis, I think until you have tried it and tried it maybe until you have a desired effect, I don’t think you can… You can’t judge it, you know?

If I had gone by my first experience with the panic attack, I would’ve been like, no. Because I told my husband, I was like, I’m never doing it again. And three days later, I was out getting a D8 pen because I was like, I got to try this.

I mean, once… If you haven’t tried it, honest to goodness, you don’t know what it’s going to help you with because, in addition to stress and things like that.

With me, I get severe motion sickness, like car sick, plane sick, and boat sick. I went on a cruise one time sick as a dog. But with cannabis, I’m able to go to an amusement park and ride the teacup rides with my daughter.

Emily: No way. I mean, that’s a big step.

Barb: It is. I’ve never found anything that would cure that. Not the scope patches, not Dramamine. And now I can spin as fast as you can on those, get up, and walk away. If I’m not using cannabis, I can’t even ride the carousel with my kids.

Emily: Oh my gosh, that is crazy. I don’t know if this is a mom thing, but I never had motion sickness at all until I had my first child, and then I had terrible motion sickness. I’m wondering if maybe I need to have just a little cannabis before we go to the theme park and see if that helps.

Barb: Yes, absolutely. I’ve suffered with it since I can remember, as a kid. I mean, getting car sick, I’m a front seat sitter, and they can’t read. You have to watch where you’re going.

But now I’ve found if I’m traveling with my husband and I take cannabis; I can literally look out the car window and get lost in where I’m at. It sounds funny, but I’ve never had that point of view. I’m either driving, or I’m looking at the road, and I can turn around and look at my kids in the back of the van and hand them snacks and not feel like I’m going to throw up, you know?

Emily: That has to be such a big change in your life because we drive so much all the time. And if you don’t feel well doing it, it’s probably just a chore, and you hate it. And now to be able to say that you can enjoy it is amazing.

Barb: Yeah. And it’s little things like that that I don’t think that people who are outside of the cannabis community understand.

Emily: Yes.

Barb: Until I started using it, I was really hush-hush. I didn’t want… I still don’t tell a lot of people. We get this idea of Cheech & Chong in our heads or that 70s show, but it’s not… You can make it like that, but it’s not like that at all.

Emily: Let’s talk a little bit about that. Were you ever anti-cannabis, or were you just feeling like because of how society was, that’s how you felt about it?

Barb: I was never anti-cannabis. I always in my head thought if I get a chance to use it, I’m going to use it. My thing was, I’m paranoid in general about breaking the law. I didn’t drink till I was 21. I didn’t smoke until I was 18.

I was like… I’m always like, I will be the person that gets caught, so until they legalized it in my state. And then when it became legal, I grew it because I was like, I know I will get in trouble for using it.

So no, I wasn’t anti. And then, as soon as I got on board, I was like, huh. Everything you read about it, as far as it helping a plethora of conditions, is absolutely right.

Emily: I am so happy to hear you say that. I am so happy that you shared with us that your first experience wasn’t necessarily the best because I feel like a lot of people who have that bad first experience never touch it again, and for you to be like: “I did try it again, and I came out on the other side so much better off”, I feel like is something people need to hear, for sure.

Barb: Yes. Whenever people talk to me about cannabis now, because I’ve got friends who are very conservative and just kind of, they’re interested, so they’ll just kind of ask a question here and there because I do talk about it.

What’s interesting is I always tell them, I’m like, you can smoke weed wrong, you can’t drink beer wrong. You can drink too much beer, but if you… with weed, if it’s your first time, you’ve got to be in a place where you’re safe, where you’re not responsible for anybody but yourself.

You need to have somebody there with you as a support person to tell you you’re not going to die.

Emily: Yeah, 100%. That is so accurate.

Barb: Yes, and you have just to learn where I am comfortable. Who am I comfortable with? And you have to get to the point where you’re not paranoid. Does everybody know? Does everybody know, you know?

Emily: Absolutely. Now when you were experimenting and dabbling, how was it with your husband? Was he supportive? Were you shy? How did that go?

Barb: So he was supportive, actually. He is in the mental health profession. He counsels, and I have bipolar disorder also, and I do take medication for that.

But my husband said try it if you think it’ll help you. That was the main thing. I mean, he is so kind, and I was embarrassed. It took me two days to tell him I had tried it because I was ashamed. I was sad. I was guilt-ridden.

When I told him, he was like, oh, okay, well, you’re going to get some more or something like that. Yeah, yeah. He was so supportive of it.

Emily: That is so sweet.

Barb: And still is now.

Emily: It’s so nice to see supportive partners because I know that many people don’t actually have a supportive partner whether or not they use cannabis or not. So having that support system, I feel like, is huge.

Barb: Oh yeah. One of his big things when I first started, it was a little over a year ago, actually, so our state doesn’t have dispensaries yet. But you can get Delta-8 and Delta-9 pens, and you can get gummies and all of that.

I was trying these different lab-made substances, and I was getting good effects but also bad side effects. Once we were both on board, we had to grow it ourselves.

Our bathroom tent is set up where I grow all year now, and it’s safe and nice. It’s given me a hobby, honest to goodness. I had never grown anything. I’m talking like not even a flower. I mean, never grown anything.

Emily: Oh really? Oh my gosh, I’m so proud of you for giving it a go.

Barb: I was so excited, and it’s been a great learning experience. And I’ve started growing little house plants, and I’ve got some succulents. I’m starving. Plants fascinate me. I told my mom how to get her Christmas cactus to bloom. I was like, how do you use the light schedule? Just fun stuff.

Emily: Oh, interesting. I didn’t know that about the Christmas cactus. I’m thinking about one in my house that’s recently blooming, but like cannabis, it blooms on the light schedule. That’s interesting.

Okay, so I’m super interested in this because most women our age with kids at home would never even dream of growing a plant in their closet. Can you just walk us through the steps and what you made, the decisions you made, and how you feel comfortable with it? I’m sure some women are like, I can grow this in my house in a tent right now?

Barb: Oh yeah, yeah. Just to give you a big overall blanket about growing it in your house, it’s going to be an investment, to begin with. I would say $500-600 bucks to get everything started and get your seeds and get everything you need. You can start on a smaller budget, but you’ve already paid the third once you get your first harvest.

Emily: Yeah, 100%. Absolutely.

Barb: My concern with cannabis, number one, I was like, I can’t buy it because I’m the one that’ll get caught, you know? Not soccer, but a little dance mom gets caught buying weed. You know?

Emily: Oh yes, yes.

Barb: I was like, I have to have access to it for myself. I can’t be buying it. I knew I couldn’t use the synthetic stuff, so I got on Google and YouTube and started looking up what tents I needed to buy.

They have all-inclusive tents from different websites you can search through you. It’ll give you your lights and your humidifiers, vents, and carbon filters for your vents because your house (or wherever you choose to grow) would smell like weed once it gets into the full flowering stage.

I bought the tent, and we set it up in a closet with the door shut in this little area of the bathroom. When people come over, they don’t smell it because it’s vented. They don’t see it. They don’t hear it.

It’s just like that’s something I can take care of myself, and if people are uncomfortable with that or coming to visit, there’s no reason for them ever to see it. It’s very inconspicuous, you know?

Emily: Sounds like a win-win for a stay-at-home mom. Your medicine is growing in the closet, ready for you when needed. What was it like watching it grow?

I know the first time I watched the plant grow, I was like, oh my god, this is fascinating. I mean, I watched vegetables grow; we have a garden. But something about watching this plant, did you feel the same way?

Barb: Oh, I did. Absolutely. With my first plant, I was in there daily, documenting every little move it made and every little twig it sprung. Every time a new pistil came out, and every time you’d see a… I was like, with your first baby taking pictures all the time.

And you’re like, oh gosh, it’s so gorgeous, and you’re telling, “You got to come and look at it.” Now I’ve probably harvested ten plants; I’m like, whatever. I smoke it as fast as I can grow it, so whatever, just get it, you know?

Emily: Yes. I feel that now. I used to think the very first time I harvested; it was like Christmas times a 1,000. Now I’m like, get this out of here. I’m sick of it.

Barb: I’m like, you got to trim it. You got to trim it-

Emily: So much work.

Barb: Yeah, I don’t want to waste any of it, so how do I make sure I catch it all? I’m just now learning how to do… I just need screens. That is what I need whenever I’m harvesting.

I didn’t know that I needed those because I’ve started making like RSO, and I’ve started making, I make tinctures and edibles. Then I was looking up your cannabutter recipe, and I made it the way… well, of course, right now I can’t remember exactly how it was, but I do remember the last time I made cannabutter, I made it with your recipe.

Emily: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, so let’s discuss this because you are a full-circle woman. You’re growing it, and now say another woman is listening, and she’s like, oh my god, I’m going to grow it.

What am I going to do with it after? Kind of walk through the process once it’s harvested and cured; what if you gave a mom who’s home alone, no idea what to do? What would you give her advice on?

Barb: What would I give her advice on? Is this mom okay with smoking, or are we discussing the edible side? What would I have you make to eat?

Emily: I think whatever your wisdom, where your wisdom lies.

Barb: I think for me, I guess my two go-tos would be a tincture, which is really easy to dose.

Emily: Do you link the one with the alcohol?

Barb: Yes, so you decarb your bud, which means you grind it. Some people do it certain ways, and others do it certain ways, but you grind it up and throw it in your oven. I didn’t know why they always told you to preheat your oven before you put your stuff in.

I ruined two or three batches of bud because it vaporized them as soon as I turned it on; I guess the heating element and the top get so incredibly hot. You have to wait until it gets to 240°F before you put it in because it flashes, heats it, and it’ll incinerates it.

I do that every 10 minutes. I go in there and stir around till it’s been about an hour. Then what I do the next thing I would do would be to put it into Everclear and put Everclear on top of that.

I do it in a mason jar, put it in the freezer, shake it, and strain it off. Then you can either cook it down and make RSO, which is not something that I would suggest anybody do outside of people who need it very clear-

Emily: Like an advanced technique, for sure.

Barb: I wanted to make it. I’m like, no wonder it’s for people who are in an advanced stage. It’s crazy the effects. Anyway, if you just take the alcohol, and put it in a dropper bottle, I’d say for discreet use that you can just take it with you anywhere, and you won’t have chocolate on your teeth.

People would be like, why are you eating chocolate? And you’re like, well, I’m eating my weed candy. No, you can… Because you’re like, huh? Or if your kids are like, why are you eating those gummies?

Emily: Yes, 100%.

Barb: They’re not curious. If you’ve got in a dropper bottle, you can toss it in your purse, take it with you, and experiment on the dose. Do you need one dropper full? Do you need two droppers full? I like the tincture.

But then the other thing that I like, after I’ve harvested and dried and cured my bud, I like to grind it up and put it in a small vaporizer. I’ll tell you why I like that. I like to smoke it. I really enjoy the effects of the smoke. However, I don’t want it to turn my teeth yellow. I don’t want to smell.

I don’t want to hurt my lungs, which I still smoke, but on a regular basis, I just put it in a vaporizer. And again, there’s a learning curve on those. The way you have to pack them, what kinds you have, how hot you need it to be, how you need to pull off of it because it’s not like a bong the way you pull.

You have to hold it; you have to hold it in there much longer. But you can get much more use out of a lot less bud. Throw it in your pocket. Nobody smells it, and you know, it’s virtually painless.

Emily: It’s perfect that you’re giving these options for moms, discreet and convenient. I feel like a lot of times; we don’t talk about what dry herb vaporizers are. Let’s get into that just for a minute because anybody who’s listening is unfamiliar with it.

For me, I love the effect of smoking. I love smoking, but obviously, for health reasons, I don’t. And my number one thing is I don’t want to smell like smoke. I don’t want to kiss my husband and smell like smoke; I don’t want to hold my kids and smell like smoke.

When I first tried to dry herb vaporizer, I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. It is a device, and there are so many different kinds out there. If you’re having questions, anyone can go to my website, emilykylenutrition.com, and type in “dry herb vaporizer.”

But it’s a device, lots of different kinds, and it heats up the cannabis either through combustion or conduction. It’s giving you the exact same experience of smoking because you’re inhaling the vapor. Because there’s no actual lighter or combustion, there’s no… I don’t want to speak out of turn, but it’s not as dangerous as smoking.

It doesn’t produce as many carcinogens. There’s no actual flame to it. And again, you don’t smell like it. Hopefully, my teeth don’t get yellow. It’s just been a real game-changer for me. Many people are under the misconception that smoking is the only way to use cannabis, so I’m so glad you brought that up as a method, especially for moms, to keep it discreet but also super enjoyable.

Barb: Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, with moms, we need to be discreet, or we feel the need to be discrete. But then also for moms, it would be great to have a community, like you said, just being able to say it, come out of the weed closet like okay.

And this may be off-topic, but I’ve thought about… And I don’t know if you can… Mary Kay parties, you know what I’m saying?

Emily: Yes, yes, 100%.

Barb: All your girlfriends get together, and you just teach everybody how to make cannabutter. And you show them how. Or you can show them that step and then have some stuff made and teach them. Include your curious moms.

Emily: You’re so spot on. I think that’s the future. It’s women like me and you who will be brave enough to host such an event and discuss them. But then you impact five to ten women’s lives, and then they go and share that with their families.

If you just think back to traditional old-school ways of how women learned how to bake pies from their grandmas, the world is going to learn how to use cannabis through women like us who show other women how to do it because obviously, no one else is going to show them how to do it.

Barb: Right. Yeah. I thought it would just be cool. I have friends that are interested in growing, and I’m like, come over! I want to teach people what I’ve learned, and I’m not an expert by any means, but if you’re just starting out, I love to explain stuff.

I’m like, if I can teach you how to teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime type thing. So I can teach you how to grow it, and then you don’t ever have to find somebody any more. You know?

Emily: I was just going to say I notice between all cannabis users or everyone I’ve come in contact with who has been so positively benefited by the plant that they want to turn around and help others and that they need to share the message with others.

I guess that’s what we’re doing here in this podcast. Even having this discussion is showing people that people can live really productive, amazing, beneficial lives and almost feel like we now have a responsibility to show other people that they can live better quality lives too.

Barb: Yes, yes. That is absolutely for sure. And again, something that I’m hesitant about it is sharing, not anonymously, because of the way laws are written. I know that could go on forever, but federal law versus state law and what you’re allowed to possess, and then it’s just this web of stuff.

Each state is so different. I joined states where it’s not legal recreationally, so if you were to leave the state, you can’t take it with you technically. I guess if there weren’t legal standards that I had to stand by, I feel like I could just tell a lot more people, or I could just be like, whatever, what do they… Do you know what I’m saying?

Emily: I think your story is beautiful, though, that we don’t all have to be out there in your face, kind of like I am. Where you are reserved, and quiet, you’re doing what feels right to you, what feels comfortable to you.

But man, in your closet, you’re growing it, cooking it, living your best life with it. I think anyone who’s listening and who’s not ready to come out of the cannabis closet that’s totally okay.

Just because some of us are out here screaming and shouting doesn’t mean that you have to. I mean, cannabis is supposed to make you feel good, and it shouldn’t ever make you feel not good if you feel you have to come out of the closet if it makes you feel unwell.

Barb: Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. That definitely makes sense.

Emily: I think it’s perfect. So I want to be respectful of your time. I don’t want to keep you too long, but I do want to ask all my guests the same four questions. So are you ready?

Emily: Yes. Two and four. I mean, those ages. I have an eight-year-old and a one-year-old,, and it goes by so fast. I’m so happy that you have the opportunity to stay home with them.

I’m home with my children as well, and it’s just I feel like one of the greatest gifts I’ll ever get in my life because I know most moms aren’t as lucky as I am. I don’t know if you feel the same way about that.

Barb: Oh yeah, absolutely. I see it. I see it a lot that a lot of moms… I could work. I could, but I just would much-

Emily: There’s nothing like being home with your babies, especially if you enjoy it. And if cannabis makes it that much better, more power to you. I’m so happy for you.

Barb: Hmm. It’s funny, and that brings me back to that questionnaire, actually. Some of the things that have changed since my timeline is so short, in the last year, I’ve lost 20 pounds in the time that I’ve been using it.

Emily: We need to talk about this for a minute because people are going to go crazy over this. Now, A, people always want a quick fix for weight loss, but B, people have the misconception that cannabis consumption makes you lazy, empathetic, and eat crazy.

Barb: No, it does not.

Emily: Do you feel comfortable talking for a minute about this?

Barb: Oh, sure. I’m glad that triggered a memory. So cannabis and weight loss. You imagine somebody just on the couch smoking a joint, eating a box of donuts, which I have done.

Emily: Yes, I could do it, but…

Barb: I’ve found that what’s funny is, I call it, the channel munchies. That’s just my little term, if I know I’m going to get the munchies, I cut up as many carrots and as much celery as possible.

I’ll get bit, and whenever I get that urge just to eat and eat, I’ll just fill myself up. This doesn’t happen every single time, but I really do try to just in the evening, I’ll just fill up on some veggies, and I’m not hungry-

Emily: That’s so smart. Ahead of time, think about it before it happens.

Barb: Let’s see. Oh, and I’ve noticed that if I do smoke at night and get that munchy sensation the next day, I’m not even hungry until the afternoon.

It’s like it has some opposite effect, and if you can get over the munchy hump, if it’s during the day, if you’re smoking or in the afternoon, if you can get over that munchy hump, it’s like, oh, okay, I don’t actually want to eat food, I just want to do something.

Emily: Yeah, yeah.

Barb: Then also when it comes to exercise on the other side of fitness, it increases your pain tolerance or what I would call maybe your discomfort tolerance. Suppose you don’t want to do burpees, pushups, planks, or running.

For some reason, at least with me, it’s not as hard. I’m not out here running marathons, but I can walk an extra mile but put it on a higher elevation, or if I’m doing kickboxing, I can go longer, or if I’m stretching, I recently am able to get into a full back bend, which I haven’t been able to do since I was a teenager.

Emily: Amazing, isn’t that exciting?

Barb: Just weird stuff. That is something that would be different. I’ve lost weight. I feel like I’m eating better. Anytime I’m taking care of myself, whether with movement or with whatever I eat, I feel better automatically. That gives me more motivation, and I think that’s also a win.

Emily: I’m so glad you said that because it just drives home. You are not the first person; you’re actually the fifth person I’ve talked to who’s been like cannabis has helped my overall healthy lifestyle. I eat better; I exercise more.

It almost brings it all together. And I always tell people it’s like a tool in your tool belt, but it really kind of brings all the tools together and holds it together. I’m just like you; I enjoy… I never liked exercise until I incorporated cannabis into it.

As you said, you can push yourself harder. It doesn’t seem as hard. It’s so much more enjoyable. And at the end of the day, I’m just so glad you said that because people need to hear this from as many mouths as possible.

Barb: Oh yeah, yeah.

All right. Next question. If you could sit down with yourself 10, 20, or 30 years ago, what would you say if you gave yourself a little nugget of wisdom about cannabis?

Barb: Use it sooner. It just would’ve helped for so many reasons. But yeah, use it sooner.

Barb: Yeah, just acceptance. You can use this. I should narrow that down to the mom community. Let me just say acceptance amongst moms, and I just want to be the person that says, okay, moms, you come over, let’s smoke a bowl and watch our kids play while our husbands drink beer and cook out.

It’s okay if your husband grills and drinks a couple of beers. But if moms say, “Hey, girls, let’s go smoke a bowl, and everybody just go play,” that’s not okay. I would love to be a mom who could be like, all right, let’s all just be like, we smoke weed; get over it. Let’s have a good time with our kids.

Emily: I love it, and I wish that we live close enough together where we could do that because my husband loves to grill and drink beer, and I love to hang out with girlfriends and smoke. So maybe someday the future will bring us together, and we can do that in real life.

Barb: Oh, for sure. I love it.

Emily: Thank you so much for joining me for this interview. I just know there’s going to be a mom somewhere listening to this and feeling the courage. If you can do it, she can do it. So thank you so much for sharing your story and being so encouraging.

Barb: You’re welcome. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Announcer: Congratulations, you’ve finished another episode of the Well With Cannabis Podcast and are one step closer to discovering how you, too, can live well with cannabis.

Thank you for listening in today. We hope this episode has been a helpful and informative one. Please visit emilykylenutrition.com for more information on today’s show, show notes, guest information, recipes, and other resources.

If you want more support and encouragement on your cannabis journey, please consider joining the private Well With Cannabis Community. In this group, you can connect with like-minded individuals focused on improving their health and wellness through cannabis.

Join the group today to continue your journey of wellness together!

Stay Connected